Episode Report Card Pamie: B | 100 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Big Anal Creep
By Pamie | Season 5 | Episode 14 | Aired on 2005.02.15
Dragonfly. Lorelai is wearing a cardigan I covet, talking a woman through the tea party she's planning for a group of little girls. Michel can't believe there will be dolls attending this tea party, being served food and tea like real people when they are, in fact, dolls. Michel goes through a list of organs that they, being dolls, would not have. Spleens, teeth, stomachs -- that sort of thing.
Michel and Lorelai enter the kitchen, and I now present to you the worst joke ever told in the 101-episode history of this show: Sookie: "I'm making little pancakes for the dolls, too! I found these little forks they can use!" Michel: "They do not have opposable thumbs!" Sookie: "Who, the girls? Oh, this is a handicapped group! Poor things!" Fire him! Wait, the horror is not over. Michel: "No, the dolls." Sookie: "The dolls? How can a doll be handicapped?" Honestly. Honestly. Lorelai bitches at Michel until he leaves, and then she complains to the refrigerator full of food that she's starving and that there's no food in there because all of the food requires cooking and Lorelai just wants food in her stomach right now without having to cook or chew it. Sookie asks Lorelai what's wrong. Lorelai tells her about her fight with Luke. In detail. Instead of "Uh-oh," Sookie prefers "Oh, no." Lorelai says she needs Luke to give her ten minutes so she can explain everything, so they won't waste time having him be mad at her. She asks what's enough time. Sookie doesn't know. Twelve hours? Sookie says it's probably more than that, but that when a relationship is right, things just work out. She tells Lorelai about this couple she heard about on a morning show: they were high-school sweethearts, but things didn't work out and they married other people, had kids with other people, had their spouses die, and now they're back together again, forty years later, and just as happy as they were when they were in high school. Lorelai: "That's a horrible story." Lorelai asks if that shit was on Katie Couric. Sookie says the point is even if it takes forty years, there's still a chance for a happy ending. Lorelai says she doesn't want a happy ending. She wants the good, fluffy, middle. Sookie says that other guy she's going to have her kids and grandkids with could be a nice guy. Lorelai says he's not the guy she wants to be with. Sookie wants to name the other guy: "I feel like he'd be a Larry." Sookie apologizes for the bad story and makes up another one about a guy who had a fight with his girlfriend and said he needed some time, and then he was like, "Just a second, Lorelai," and then was like, "I love you, Lorelai," and they were all happy forever. Lorelai thanks Sookie for the lie, and heads out. Sookie admits the old couple was on Katie Couric. Lorelai says she knew it.