Episode Report Card Pamie: B | 100 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Big Anal Creep
By Pamie | Season 5 | Episode 14 | Aired on 2005.02.15
Lorelai enters the movie theatre, a place where she likes to get her big talks taken care of. No surprise here, she plops down in the front row and proceeds to talk at a normal volume throughout the film. There must be a city ordinance that says nobody's allowed to shush Lorelai, because once again everybody acts like she's not saying anything. Yesterday, I had the unfortunate experience of going to see Constantine. The most dramatic part of the entire film came from the woman in the seat next to me, who took -- TOOK -- three (THREE!) phone calls from her seat, yelling into the phone, "No, call me later! Yeah, I know! Ha!" Never turned her phone off, so it rang all three times, IN A ROW, and just chatted away like we were all so excited about her fucking social life. ["How did you manage not to punch her? No, seriously." -- Wing Chun] Lorelai asks Luke what he's watching. Is there not a marquee? Luke tells her it's something stupid. It's something in black and white, so you know my eyes just glaze right over. Oh, but you see, it's symbolism. There's a woman in a gown and a bummy-looking guy with a beard and an invisible backwards baseball cap, and they're at some kind of ball, and the woman is apologizing for taking him to this place where everyone humiliated him. Lorelai comments on how fast people talk in those movies. Uh-huh. Lorelai tells Luke she's been "frantically" trying to call his cell phone. Luke turned his off, because he's not seeing Constantine. Lorelai wants to explain everything, but Luke wants some time to think. Lorelai's a little condescending as she asks Luke to call her when he's ready to talk. She then heads out of the theatre, having sufficiently ruined the second act of the film.