Episode Report Card Demian: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Biting the hand that snatches food from their mouths
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.08.2004
Not!warts. The Manor Morons search for the Bodhifter dagger in various texts. Raige finds the correct entry, which describes the weapon as "a power-sucking athame," but contains no other useful information. Big Gay Chris, incidentally, is leaning hard against the table with his hands pressed into the surface, and his left elbow is hyperextended to the point that it looks like he has two right arms. Ew! Also: Big Gay Chris is double-jointed. Hee! The gang bangs their heads together and realizes they've run out of ideas. Phoebe and Raige suggest Piper head off to rest, so she pushes herself up from her chair to toddle back to her room as the shot cuts to Snidely's crystal ball, which is currently displaying the events in the library for Snidely and Head On A Nerd's collective benefit. They watch in stony silence as the Dolt rises to offer his ex-wife an arm. "You don't touch me," Piper merrily snarks in what has to be an ad-libbed line. "You're the reason I look like this." Heh. Snidely flicks a finger in the air, shutting off the feed from the library. The brief scene that follows makes it clear that Snidely's losing his already tenuous grip on reality, while Head On A Nerd's grown increasingly wary of the overall plan. Snidely crosses to his bookcase to retrieve a volume he opens and mojos so that its existing text flares and morphs into an entry on the "Ronyx Crystal." He snaps something about "eliminating" the Psycho once and for all before sweeping out of his study. Head On A Nerd sighs and looks pained.
Snidely strides into the Not!warts library to present the remaining Manor Morons with the Ronyx Crystal entry. For their benefit, he explains that the crystal Raige lifted from the Brute is "an ancient form of magical voyeurism" that "predates even the crystal ball." Phoebe notices that the entry contains a conveniently placed incantation to activate the thing. As she reads aloud, "Mallock cormon alli-tas," Snidely twiddles his fingers in the crystal's direction, activating it himself. The crystal shoots out a projection of Johnny Demonic's pre-credits monologue, which Phoebe, Raige, and Chris stare at intently while Snidely darts his eyes from one to the next to gauge their responses. Meanwhile, the barflies are going nuts. Again. Some more. When Johnny hits the bit about taking the Charmed Ones' "progeny," Big Gay Chris snaps his head up from the projection to shoot a horrified glance at his aunts. Phoebe and Raige gape at each other as Snidely surreptitiously wiggles his fingers around to knock us into the final commercial break.
Not!warts. Aftermath. Snidely contrives to convince the Manor Morons that Elaine and Johnny Demonic are the dark demonic force Big Gay Chris has been searching for ever since he arrived from the future, based solely on the final line of Johnny's monologue. Raige figures it "sort of fits" in with Phoebe's theory as well, because, while they might never have heard of the two before this evening, Elaine and Johnny certainly had heard of them. No, it doesn't make sense. Just go with it, because there are about ten action-packed minutes left, and action sequences are an almighty bitch to recap, okay? In any event, all of this chattering leads to the following unbelievable exchange: