Episode Report Card Niki: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT 'Til The One Day When The Lady Met This Fellow...
By Niki | Season 2 | Episode 15 | Aired on 03.13.2001
Cut to Rick surprising Lily with the new arrangement of her desk and computer in the bedroom. She says it looks better than she thought, and asks what he did with the exercise bike. He tells her it's in the bathroom, for now, and heads off to show her something else. Lily rolls her eyes in displeasure and heads to the bathroom, though, just to see for herself the outrage that is her LifeCycle alongside the potty. Rick keeps talking, saying that they can put the bike back in the bedroom if they just... He's busy piling a footstool onto an armchair and is about to drag them out of the way when Lily returns and shrills, "No!" Rick freezes. Lily unclenches. She lowers her voice and stammers that she can't start moving stuff around; she has to think it out and picture it in her head first. Rick doesn't understand why it's a problem for him just to show her what he means. She feng shuis that moving even one little thing throws off the balance of the room. Rick accepts that and turns his attention back to the computer problem, suggesting that Lily get a computer table rather than the big bulky desk she has now. "Oh, so no desk," she bitches, while trying to sound reasonable and open-minded. After a couple of sentences, though, she gives up any pretense and blows out of the room, offended at the thought of having to give up anything. ["In fairness to Lily, it is a really nice desk. But this whole storyline is ludicrous because that house is fucking huge." -- Wing Chun]
Cut to Lily complaining to Judy at the bookstore. She whines that she feels like she's "moving in with [her] maiden aunt, and suddenly [they're] discussing bathroom habits." She further bitches that it's not what she expected. Right, because reality involves Lily compromising. She claims that she didn't expect it to be the two of them "lying around [her] living room in front of the fireplace, eating shrimp, and drinking champagne," and Judy points out that Lily never uses that fireplace. And I'd like to point out that the ease with which Lily spouted that little dream, and the fondness which she clearly feels for it, suggest that it is, in fact, what she was expecting. At least to a degree. And she should know better, really. She's forty, divorced, with two kids. She should know how pretty life isn't, by now. Anyway, Judy further rubs it in, distractedly warning, "Wait 'til he forgets to buy the toilet paper." Lily claims that she knows she's being petty, and on the one hand she doesn't care where her computer goes. Judy interrupts to ask what Lily's doing. Lily replies that she's paying for her book. Judy won't have any of that, and then tells Lily that she's "just scared, that's all. Now it's real. You're becoming a family. It's natural to mourn the fact that your time alone together, when you could actually have sex, will --" Lily holds up a hand urgently to silence Judy. Judy trails off, and Lily spills that Jake is having a baby. How the hell did that slip her mind until now? Dude, I'd have been on the phone the second I left that restaurant. ["Word." -- Wing Chun] Judy is in disbelief. "The child mom," Lily says scornfully. Oh, let go of the age thing, already. Twenty-seven isn't exactly young for childbirth. Lily says she just can't believe that Jake would want another child. I don't think it matters what Jake wants, though, does it? Judy's reeling, sputtering about children having babies, and if children can have babies that means someone her age could have three babies. Four, even. Lily looks sympathetic, especially when Judy wonders, "Why do I feel like I'm living in an ashram?" Lily patronizes Judy, saying that she has "such a full life." "Yes, just fascinating," Judy bitterly agrees. You know, if ever there was anyone in serious need of a good Gluck...