Episode Report Card Wing Chun: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Mars Attacks
By Wing Chun | Season 7 | Episode 3 | Aired on 10.25.2000
Carter asks a passing Finch how good she is at getting insects out of kids' ears. She coldly tells him to keep the kid still, and that she'll get to him in a minute. Suddenly, a troop of police storms in like...well, storm troopers, rifles drawn; Carter flattens himself against a wall as they rush past him. Please tell me it's the Style Police, and they're there on a tip about Dr. Dave.
Lisa looks into a girl's throat as her mother buzzes around, complaining, "I brought her to the doctor's with a sore throat. That was three weeks ago, and she's still not getting any better." Finch enters and asks Lisa what's up; Lisa sees tonsillar exudate. Mrs. Throat Girl hisses, "What's that?" and Lisa explains that it's pus. "Gross," says Throat Girl, saving me the trouble. Finch says it looks like strep, and asks Throat Girl (but she calls her Moira) whether she took all the medicine the last doctor prescribed for her. Moira says that she did, and Mrs. Moira growls, "She can't miss any more school." Finch says she'll order some tests to rule out other kinds of infections, but Lisa beats her in announcing what they are. Gosh, that Lisa is some kind of SuperNurse!
In the hall, Mark asks Lisa to find a room for Mr. Duncan, whose wheelchair he's pushing; Mr. Duncan seems to have a bear fully wrapped around himself, with its jaws clamped on his forearm. Chen catches up with Lisa and asks her to suture a head laceration; Lisa reminds Chen that she can't, because she's a nurse now (hence the pink scrubs, Chen, duh), but agrees to clean up after Chen does it. Dr. Dave asks Lisa to take care of three vomiting Japanese businessmen, and to call housekeeping for some buckets. "Anybody else need anything?" Lisa cracks, to herself. "Bring it on!" Awesome! Oh wow!
Lisa's path is crossed by Mr. Di Batista, now in a hospital gown, escorted by the cops we just saw. He complains that he hasn't been granted his phone call. Luka runs over, too late, and asks why Weaver's letting the cops move Mr. Di Batista; Weaver says it's because he was wanted for murder. Frank interjects, "Lucky I recognized him. Once a cop, always a cop." Luka whines that County is a hospital, not a police department, and Weaver tells him, "They can observe him in the jail ward." Luka drones on, "If people don't feel safe here, they'll stop coming when they need medical attention." "Only the criminals," opines Frank. "I'm not talking to you!" snits Luka. Weaver dismisses Frank. Luka starts to tell Weaver he was still observing Mr. Di Batista, and Frank takes off, snorting, "Freaking liberal foreigners!" (Shout-out?) Luka looks like he's thinking about picking a fight, but then decides to spare Frank's life (today) and instead tells Weaver, "It's my decision to transfer or not." Weaver snaps, "Yeah. He's a threat to the patients and the staff, he needs to be in custody, and that is my decision." Lisa trills, "Hey, it's not so bad down here!" Heh. Nearby, Carter tells a shirtless old dude that he's going to give him some antibiotics, adding, "The next time you want to pierce your nipples, Mr. Harkins, I suggest you go to a professional." Ew. The next time you want to pierce your nipples, I suggest you sleep it off. Lisa asks for Carter's bed to give to Bear Guy, and as Carter starts to walk off, she follows, asking him how it's going. He chirps, "Oh, great!" and then, after glancing around, admits, "Actually, it sucks! I'm not allowed to do anything." Lisa calls up her database of essentially meaningless recovery clichés and offers, "Uh, well...easy does it?" Carter chuckles, and Lisa notes, "You might want to give yourself a little bit of time." Carter replies, "Time and scut -- I've got plenty of both." Lisa tells him it could be worse: "Did you have to pluck maggots out of anybody's crotch today?" But enough about Dr. Dave. Carter says he had a guy with crabs. Lisa declares that's not even close. She takes off, and Carter asks Mark what's new on the big board. Mark directs him to a patient with a urinary tract infection, and Carter complains that he'd hoped for something more interesting, to which Mark replies, "There are no small patients, Carter..." "What about dwarves?" asks Dr. Dave. Oh, all right. Heh. Dr. Dave segues straight into the gossip: he notes that Carter's known Chen for a while, and asks whether Carter knows "who got her pregnant." Carter says that even if he did know, he probably wouldn't tell Dr. Dave, and Dr. Dave observes, "That's not a definitive no." He asks whether Carter and Chen have been [insert obscene frat-boyish arm gesture here]. Carter leaves without answering. Dr. Dave makes "uh huh" noises. Go tap a keg, Dr. Dave.