Untitled


Episode Report Card Potes: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Spice Up Your Tooch

By Potes | Season 18 | Episode 6 | Aired on 04.11.2012

When we return, the drama continues. Laura lies in her bed with Alisha and Eboni comforting her, and tells them that Kyle is disgusting and she wants nothing to do with her. In turn, Kyle tells us that Laura is a complete psychopath. In Kyle's version of events, she was trying to get the ear out of the water. And...well, if that's the case it was a pretty halfhearted attempt. I personally think her toes were just hot. Laura then says that Kyle is dead to her. But not dead in a way that a teddy bear ear becomes representative of her spirit or whatever.

And then who should walk into this melee (except not really, because this totally happens on a different day) but Lisa Fucking D'Amato, who enters the house and immediately starts screaming. She tells the ladies that for this week's challenge, they'll be recording and taping their own music video. The models be like whoa in response. Lisa claims that she won this challenge during the all-star season. But...I thought Allison won? Or maybe she just won Game's love. A quick check of the recap indicates that Lisa did win the initial lyric-writing challenge, but Allison got best video of the week for her final product. So, it's a technically correct but still specious claim, just like her default all-star victory.

The models will be divided into girl groups: UK versus US, of course. And there are mentors! Nadine Coyle from the British group Girls Aloud will be mentoring the UK team, while Jessica Sutta of The Pussycat Dolls will mentor the Americans. Laura calls Jessica Sutta the best mentor she could possibly hope for. Maybe she's still grieving for the teddy bear ear, or maybe "one of the other Pussycat Dolls" is actually a big deal. The teams each listen to their already written tracks on Virgin Mobile phones, because why waste time having the girls endeavor to express themselves creatively when you could have product placement instead? Azmarie tells us that she has some experience with music, and has in fact written ten of her own tracks. However, girl groups aren't exactly her style. She wouldn't even be in a boy band, okay? Except maybe vintage NKOTB.

Catherine tells us that this challenge requires a lot of positive team energy. And then oh my god, NADINE COYLE SPEAKS. What. The. Fuck. Is. She. Saying. Whoever captioned this shit deserved three bonuses. Where is she even from? Some middle earth country of elfin lady singers, apparently. It is really something! My friend Lauren S. assures me that Girls Aloud is an obsession-worthy band, though, so I am determined to check them out and see what the legacy of the Spice hath wrought. They have a song called, "Sexy! No No No," which I find very promising.

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