Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Pass The Pepto, Please
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 08.10.1997
Mukada finds Alvarez in Em City and asks him to come talk to him. Alvarez agrees, and as they walk off, he calls a dolled-up Beecher a maricon. Oh, Miguel, a little Torquemada will unstraighten you right out. In Mukada's office, Alvarez and Pete tell Miguel and Eduardo that Oz isn't equipped for the kind of long-term care that Ricardo will need, but there's no other place to send him, given that the state's attitude toward old prisoners is, according to Pete, "Hurry up and die." Well, sending them to Oz is a good start, then. Miguel says he wants to see Ricardo. Cut to the four entering the hospital wing. The old man's a quivering mess, and it's rather painful to watch. Pete opines that the state should let Ricardo go free. This proves not to be just a lark on her part, as we cut to Pete and Mukada pleading this case to Glynn. After budgetary statistics, the use of the expression "criminal menopause," and a mother-in-law joke, Glynn glibly dismisses the idea. Well, that was worth my time.
Alvarez tells Pete that, when he was little, he wondered what was so great about prison that his father and grandfather wanted to be there all the time. Aw. My big puppy dog. Pete asks what the word "grandfather" means to him emotionally. Alvarez says that it means nothing to him, which can only mean that by the end of the episode he'll be collapsed in a sobbing fit, repeating the word "grandfather" to himself over and over again. If there's a given on this show, it's that people always end up eating their words. Or possibly that if you're alone in the shower, Adebisi will find you. Pete asks if he would like "grandfather" to mean something to him, and he says yes. Pete tells him that Gloria isn't sure how long Ricardo has to live, and suggests that he work with his father in the prison hospital taking care of Ricardo. Alvarez says that when he was a kid, he thought of Ricardo as a legend, but now he sees that he's just a man, and that he doesn't want to end up like him. So, is that a "no," then?
Groves brings food over to Rebadow and says he's sorry he didn't make it out. You and me both, Cannibal Boy. Rebadow says it was worth it for the adrenaline rush, and that he felt twenty-five again. Well, no offense, but you didn't look anywhere near twenty-five when your saggy ass went careening down those stairs, Bob. Elsewhere, Miguel and Eduardo bathe Ricardo as Hill wonders if we care for the old out of genuine concern, or if it's just more of a societal contract. "Or does it matter?" Good question, that. Hey, Hill didn't make me tell him to shut up! Then he starts ranting on about the expression "at least you've got your health." I spoke too soon. Shut up, Hill.