Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Pass The Pepto, Please
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 08.10.1997
Pete meets with Groves. He tells her his tooth has been hurting. I can already see the comic potential here, and I'm giggling. Pete tells him to see a dentist, but he reveals that he hates the concept of dentists. Who doesn't? I mean, I know that there are a number of families that are kept in sports cars and ski houses by the immeasurable suffering of others, namely the dentists' families, but I'm not counting them, of course. Pete, however, convinces him to make an appointment.
The dentist, who looks a bit like Peter Falk, complains to Gloria that Groves is coming to see him, and says he's not sticking his fingers in his mouth. Gloria asks about the Hippocratic Oath. Random Dentist: "Dentists don't take the Hippocratic Oath. We don't make any promises to anybody." Word, Random Dentist. Cut to Groves in the chair, wearing a mask that is ostensibly filling his head with pleasant, non-cannibalistic thoughts. Random Dentist removes the mask and tells Groves to open wide. After a quick look with no accompanying touching, Random Dentist says he's fine, and not to be a baby. Groves: "Who are you calling a baby?" Heh. The dentist immediately recants and takes another look, this time discovering a rotted tooth. He says that Novocain and drilling are essential, and that they'll entail a lot of pain, but the end result will be no more hurting. "If I cause you pain, it's not my fault, so don't bite my head off! I mean, uh..." Hee. I told you the comic potential was great. Random Dentist moves to inject Groves with the Novocain, but at the last second hands it off to a female assistant. What a weasel. Hee.
Later, Groves examines the tooth that was pulled from his mouth. He shows it to Ross, and notes, "This tooth chewed up my mom." Ross suggests that he sell it, showing an understanding of how twisted the general populace is. Groves is skeptical, but Ross tells him that people collect everything. It's true -- especially WASPs. Ross offers to try to find a fence to sell it for them, and Groves says that if he gets a good price -- he grins wide -- "I've still got thirty more." Well, your dentist will be relieved if that deal comes through.
Hill talks about the agony the mind can go through as we see Beecher applying a fresh coat of Dick Suck Red with Schillinger watching. Cut to the cafeteria, where there's a variety show in progress. Shockingly, the first act we see is pretty tame, but maybe that's because Pete is in the audience. Hill announces that the next contestant is Beecher. Our boy comes out in heels, full makeup, stockings, a fishnet tank top, sheer black arm-length gloves, and a red dress that's twist-tied at the top. He looks like something you'd see at night in the meatpacking district in New York, and those of you familiar with the area will know that it's not your average hooker that frequents that area. They've always got a little extra something, if you take my meaning. Beecher sings a torch song as everyone watches with varying degrees of amusement and distress. When it's over, Adebisi howls with laughter, while Schillinger just looks annoyed. Once Beecher's off the stage, he takes a hit of the sniffy-sniffy. Pete catches him in the act, and does not look pleased. Bust a cap in his ass, Sister!