Episode Report Card Joe R: B | 1 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT The Wood(s)man
By Joe R | Season 2 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.01.2006
Lamb's office sees the sheriff with his feet up on his desk, listening to the soothing sounds of "Woody's a pervert" on the incriminating audio file. Keith stops the recording and lays it out for Lamb: that's Marcos and Peter, both of them bus crash victims. Veronica says that she got Mr. Wu to verify Peter's voice, while she has recordings of Marcos's radio show to verify his voice. Keith extra-super-double-explains that, with Marcos and Peter about to come forward about the molestation, Woody planted a bomb on the bus in order to shut them up, but good. Lamb asks, "Then he used the same type of phone-activated bomb on his own car to blow himself up?" Keith and Veronica jigga-what, as Lamb tells Keith he was right the first time: Lucky planted a bomb at Woody's place. Lamb also says that Lucky blew off work on the day of the crash. So...Lucky did it? Jeez, Lamb, that was like three scenarios ago, keep up. Keith basically says as much. Though, once again, you gotta love the internal consistency of Lamb. "Lucky's the real killer, and...what's that? He's dead? Well, investigation over, I suppose. Maybe I'll give Madison a call." Also true to form, Lamb suggests that Keith just wants to get him to accuse the mayor of child abuse and murder, thus making Lamb a laughingstock. Again. "Well it aint gonna happen." Keith is flabbergasted that even Lamb could be so egotistical as to make a bus crash that killed eight people all about her. I mean him! Him! And where did that hyperlink come from? Keith's using his outdoor voice now, as he tells Lamb that if he doesn't make a move quickly, Woody's going to use all his mayorly resources to skip town, and instead of a laughingstock, Lamb will be the guy who let a kiddie rapist and bus killer get away. Veronica awesomely just closes her eyes as Keith's saying this, because she knows Lamb is exactly the kind of guy who would let something like that happen out of laziness or spite or whatever base instinct is motivating Lamb at this moment.
Courtroom. Logan is in the witness chair, and the first words we hear him say are, "There was just some fuzz. Static. No picture," and for a second I actually believe that he took his dad's advice. Which makes no sense, so I'm an idiot, as usual. No, the static was just at first. After that, Logan explains, the tape showed a bra-clad Lilly, "sitting on top of someone, writhing." He explains how Haaron rolled on top of her and gave that disgusting smile right into the camera. Ready for his close-up, Mr. DeVOMIT. Logan says they were unmistakably having sex. On cross-examination, Slimy gets Logan to confirm that he was granted immunity from prosecution for evidence tampering in exchange for his testimony. ["Preposterous, that question being allowed." -- Couch Baron] No questions from Slimy about Logan's bumfights or murder accusations, and whether that's because Haaron instructed him not to or because boys aren't dirty slut whores who make shit up, we don't know.