Episode Report Card Joe R: B | 1 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT The Wood(s)man
By Joe R | Season 2 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.01.2006
Veronica and Weevil step off to the side as Wallace talks to some random kid. Weevil needs Veronica's help. They really do have the perfect relationship. Favor-for-favor, every time. This scene still sees them in barter mode, but on two completely different planes. Weevil -- sick at even having to say it -- asks Veronica for help in Algebra. "The math?" Veronica asks, clearly on my wavelength, wondering if "Algebra" is code for street drugs or something nefarious. Nope. Actual math. Weevil promised his grandma that she'd get to see him graduate, and that her health is failing, and he needs a "B" on the final. Veronica is for-real pained to say she can't work both her finals and his into a schedule already packed with court testimony, sleuthing, and the occasional painful exchange with Logan. Weevil takes this news better than I expect him to, which is to say he doesn't once again bring up the fact that Veronica fucks rich boys. Which is nice progress for him, I think. He gruffly walks away, and Veronica looks sad, and we barely have time to unfairly call her a bitch before gunshots ring out.
Students everywhere dive for cover underneath the tables. French fries are tossed in the air like scary confetti. For a second, it looks like Veronica's the only one still standing, frozen. Nope: Gia, too. Veronica lunges at her and drags her down under the nearest table. It's cool that Veronica is made to snap out of it by the need to save someone else who's out of it. The gunman climbs atop a nearby table, and it's Lucky. Seems the school fired him after hearing about the whole "stalking the mayor and his kids" thing. Lucky's not taking it too well. He can drive an armored troop transport through the Iraqi desert, but he's not good enough to buff the floors at Neptune? Well, sure dude, but to be fair I totally believe that Principal Clemmons is way more discerning than President Bush. There's no use talking sense to Lucky, though. He's drooling and scratching his head with his gun, clear signs of "criminally insane on television." He crazily asks whether anyone wants to go for a ride into Snake Canyon with him. Geena Davis is on ABC right now (...isn't she?), so there are no takers. Lucky's looking for one student in particular: "Where's my girl? G-g-g-gia?" In the sing-song Chia Pet voice. So, so scary. Like what would be scarier than a killer stalking you and talking about "Clap on, clap off, the Clapper"? Gia agrees with me and buries her face into Veronica.