Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT When We First Took The Pill
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Aired on 06.10.1999
Bazaar, outside the Kreepy Korner, where Aeryn is refusing to give up. "How can we fight a battle against an enemy whose defenses cannot even be breached?" D'Argo déjà vu's for us. Aeryn...decides to shoot the door. Is this really happening? Did my DVD skip? She decides to overload the pulse rifle -- Which we know how to do! -- and blow out a whole wall. That's my girl. Not a good plan, but very fun to watch, for sure. D'Argo: "Won't work." Inside, Maldis answers him: "Might work. Can't have that." Aeryn's gun glows red with the power of the vampire and she drops it, all hot. I bet it feels even hotter to her than it would to you. Maybe that's another thing that has no relative value: red-hot stuff. D'Argo and Aeryn look at the gun and discuss how they have no idea what just happened.
"Captain Bipolar Crais! Let's say you do kill me. What happens then? You think Maldis hands you a trophy and zaps you off to your ship? What's to stop you from bringing your Command Carrier back to this planet and toasting the whole place? Think he's gonna risk that? ...He may not even let you kill me, he may drag this thing out for years and then kill us himself. Is your vengeance satisfied, if Maldis kills me?" This episode is...really, really long. Really long. John asks him -- again -- who the real enemy is. "Start thinking like a Peacekeeper." The magic words. Crais asks what he's proposing; a truce to nail Maldis together. Crais is maybe feeling that, but: intangible. "His power can't be infinite," John enthuses. "He's got to have some weakness. If we both stay calm and unemotional, he can't recharge. We could starve him out. Come on, Crais. This may be our best chance." Crais agrees to the truce, swearing as a Peacekeeper. But he is lying, because this episode is never going to end, so he comes after John with a chain and dislocates his shoulder. Maldis shows up to bounce around and act obnoxious some more. They chase and grab-ass and horse-play up one side and down the other.
Moya, where we've got a sick Muppet staring at an unconscious Crichton. Much more stimulating. Actually, kinda: "I don't know why I'm bothering. I don't care what Aeryn thinks. You certainly look dead to me. I don't know your customs for these situations, not that I care, so I'll give you the Hynerian ceremony of passage and be done with it. Ahem. John Crichton, valued friend." He grants that this term is a stretch. "John Crichton, unwelcome shipmate. Hmm. May you have safe transport to the Hallowed Realm." But not the Hallowed Realm, because that's Hynerian heaven. "Go find your own Hallowed Realm!" He pronounces the ceremony complete, and John officially dead, and goes ahead and claims all John's possessions for himself. He then attempts to remove John's boots. Which should take about an hour so we're fine. I'm just happy Rygel got a funny Rygel-ish scene after Zhaan's egregious logical and ethical missteps before. Puts things back into place, emotionally.