Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT When We First Took The Pill
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Aired on 06.10.1999
Maldis bugs hiding John about how Crais is going to fuck him up, and then connects the dots by doing all of his irritating voices in a row: Maldis, Haloth, Igg. Three times the hate is not enough, dude. He sucks exponentially. Then there's some taunting, and John tries to punch Maldis, but hits the wall, because hands are at a premium today in Maldavia.
They've got John in a lovely bed on Moya, sleeping like a prince. Rygel's pretty sure he's dead, Aeryn's pretty sure Rygel's cruisin' for a bruisin'. D'Argo and Aeryn tell whining Rygel they brought him up for safekeeping, and so Rygel can tend to him, if he starts to bleed again. "Shouldn't Zhaan be doing that?" She's...busy. SUCKING. Aeryn: "She's helping by applying some Delvian mysticism to the situation." Heh. Aeryn's got my back. Rygel reminds them that he is very, very sick, and D'Argo smears him with something called "yuvo," which Rygel thinks smells like something called "trat". Science fiction. Words. Sigh.
"There is nothing to be done," Liko pep-squads. "As soon as Maldis is finished with your companion, he will come after the rest of you." Zhaan wants to fight, Purple can't fight, what if they combine their powers: Might there be sexy results? A world of No. Liko is like, "You have helping powers, not fucking-up-vampires powers." She says that's negotiable, with his help. (Just like last week when she told D'Argo how much fun it was to break his warrior's code, she's sacrificing her own fake shit to save something real.) "Can you be guided? It's not just a matter of skill, it's intent. You must want to do harm, cause pain, even kill. You are a Ninth Level Pa'u. You simply aren't capable of that." Zhaan admits that she was, once. How much do we know about this right now? Just that she was "something of an anarchist," right? Man. No, she gave D'Argo the "savage" speech out in the wacky turnips. Both times D'Argo. Interesting. She respects him so much more than she does John, even though she loves John more. Yeah, that fits. She could only ever love what she didn't respect.
Maldis: "There are no exits! Save your energy for fighting Crais!" John registers as an objector and Maldis is like, "Cool, but he's playing." And in he comes, stupid ponytail all floppy, jaws all flappy, and then there is man-grappling. They discuss once again how John killed but did not murder Crais's brother. What's his name? (Tuvok? Turok? Heh. I am not a nerd! It is you who are the nerd!) I couldn't care less. John -- in a beautiful looking move -- gets Crais on his back, spear to his throat, and hisses about how it was an accident, one more time, and then they both breathe very hard for awhile, and then he pulls the spear back, and Maldis calls him a chump.