Episode Report Card Wing Chun: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Scribbling Rivalry
By Wing Chun | Season 2 | Episode 9 | Aired on 01.16.2001
Cut to the door to the office suite, as D.B. Sweeney wanders in, giving the place an appraising look. Lily notices him, glances around to see if anyone else is going to claim him, and then asks him if she can help him. He says, "You could say I'm here about a job." "Boy, did you pick the wrong day," she snorts. "I did?" he asks, and Lily announces -- rather indiscreetly for an editor's assistant, if you ask me -- that a lot of people just got laid off. "You're kidding!" D.B. Sweeney exclaims. "Parker did that?" Lily finally asks him whether he has an appointment with Crusty, and introduces herself, telling him she's Crusty's assistant. D.B. Sweeney says that he's "Graham Rympalski, of Pittsburgh." Lily stares catatonically into his face. To break the silence, he asks for something to drink. She is roused from her reverie and apologizes. He tells her he knows he has one green eye and one blue eye (you can't really tell on TV), and that everybody stares. She tells him she's never seen that before; he says that some people find it unnerving and don't know which eye to look into, which can be an advantage in business. Oh, WHATEVER.
Lily and her boobs usher D.B. Sweeney into the kitchen, and he asks for "anything with electrolytes." Leaning into the fridge, she asks whether he's Crusty's new trainer, and he tells her that he's a management consultant. Lily abruptly straightens up as D.B. Sweeney adds, "I'll be helping out here on the business side...I'm the guy she's been trying to avoid." He turns around to survey the office and adds, "I don't know why she went ahead and fired people; that was a bit pre-emptive." Lily doesn't say anything (probably still recovering from her dumb mistake, I'd imagine), and D.B. Sweeney quickly moves to her side to make sure Crusty didn't also fire Lily. Lily tells him she still has a job, and D.B. Sweeney breathes, "Good." Lily regards him warily for a moment, and then returns to the fridge and digs out a bottle of Gatorade. She asks whether he's an athlete, and he says he is: "Endurance sports." He notices that the bottle has a name on it, and reads, "Muhar." She peels off the tape and chucks it; no fool he, D.B. Sweeney guesses that Muhar was among those laid off. D.B. Sweeney probes, "Speaking of endurance, how long have you worked for Parker?" Lily says she doesn't think she should answer that. D.B. Sweeney protests that "it's a simple question," and Lily flirtatiously counters, "Not the way you phrased it." Off-camera, Crusty and Artie have resumed bickering; he's saying that his situation was difficult, but that now it's impossible, and Crusty trots after him, yipping that he can't just walk out, and that he's being unprofessional. I'm not saying Crusty is fat, or anything, but she should maybe go up a jeans size, because that shit is tight, and not in a good way. Quietly, D.B. Sweeney asks who Artie is; Lily tells him he's the webmaster. "She's firing him?" D.B. Sweeney asks, and Lily offers, "I think he's firing her." Cut back to Crusty, who's telling Artie he's being immature; in response, he spits a brief raspberry at her, and saunters out, smirking. Crusty looks like she's on the verge of stamping her little foot in frustration, and then turns around to spot D.B. Sweeney and Lily watching the entire tantrum. D.B. Sweeney strides toward her, holding out his hand and introducing himself as coming from "Clavan and Fosdick." She grins insincerely and chuckles ruefully, shaking his hand. He apologizes for the timing, adding, "They're springing me on you. They're heartless. They eat their young." Still smiling -- though now less insincerely -- Crusty indicates Artie's departed figure and jokes that if she knew D.B. Sweeney was coming, she'd have rescheduled her "disaster." She preens slightly and puts her hands on her hips. Um, Crusty? If you don't want your financial backers to displace you from your position because you are "a person with breasts," maybe you should be a bit more subtle about your apparent wish to press said breasts against their emissary. Just a thought. She officiously asks Lily to get D.B. Sweeney a drink, and both Lily and D.B. Sweeney assure Crusty that it's already done. Crusty invites him to her office. Lily watches them go, and below her crossed arms, Lily's breasts squeal, "Don't worry, boss: we'll get him back!"