Episode Report Card Wing Chun: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Scribbling Rivalry
By Wing Chun | Season 2 | Episode 9 | Aired on 01.16.2001
At Booklovers, Judy tells Lily that D.B. Sweeney is "obviously flirting," which he is, but Lily started it by staring into his different-coloured eyes like he was David from The Real World Seattle. Blah blah, Lily asks how she might use his interest in her to her advantage, and Judy gives her a couple of books on office politics. Judy asks what her big idea is, and Lily tells her that it's too complicated for her to go into at the moment. Yeah, Lily, she's only living in your idea right now. Except -- that's right -- it's her idea. The one you shat on. Remember? Because I think she does. Lily dismissively says that she's writing it up for D.B. Sweeney, and that she'll email it to Judy.
At the office, Crusty is demo-ing a Flash movie for D.B. Sweeney, while Lily sits behind them both and takes notes. At first, I thought it was a Flash intro to the PagesAlive site, but it's a movie prepared for venture capitalists. It's a long and crappily realized movie -- involving flying cows, and Mrs. O'Leary's cow kicking over a lantern to start the Chicago fire (because it's Chicago's hot site, geddit?) -- complete with a stentorian voice-over. After a while (just long enough to see how long and crappy the movie is), D.B. Sweeney asks her to stop it. God, WORD. Crusty prepares to get her nose out of joint and snips, "Sure." D.B. Sweeney quietly says, "This is fun. And it obviously took a lot of work. But it's, uh, counterproductive." Well, yes and no. It isn't fun. It did take a lot of work for someone with no talent to make it. And it is counterproductive. Crusty shirtily says that she thinks Clavan and Fosdick reacted positively, and D.B. Sweeney corrects her: "No, they didn't." Hey, is Mrs. O'Leary's cow somewhere in the office, because OH BURN! Crusty's brilliant retort is to stick her chin out, and D.B. Sweeney forges on, saying that they thought it was good "for what it was," but that "financial partners aren't dazzled by flying cows. They want red meat." "They prefer dead cows," Crusty intuits, clutching her keyboard as if she plans to break it over D.B. Sweeney's head. D.B. Sweeney busts out his own hoary cliché: "You're selling sizzle. You gotta concentrate on the steak." Crusty says that if steak is profit, they don't have steak, yet. D.B. Sweeney says that whether they're profitable or not, they still have to sell the steak, even if it's "steak of the future." D.B. Sweeney glances over at Lily's notepad and snickers. Crusty's all, "Do you have something you'd like to share with the whole class?" and Lily holds up her pad to show she wrote, "Moo," and then added, "Moo-oo-oo." Whoa, step back, Dorothy Parker: there's a new wit in town! D.B. Sweeney laughs again, because he thinks that if he laughs with Lily enough, she'll laugh her pants clean off, and Crusty pretends to laugh but doesn't quite pull it off.