Episode Report Card Wing Chun: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Scribbling Rivalry
By Wing Chun | Season 2 | Episode 9 | Aired on 01.16.2001
In the office, Lily closes the door behind her. Crusty starts by telling Lily that she had to do something really difficult today, and Lily cuts her off by asking that, if she's fired, Crusty just tell her. Emphatically, Crusty says, "No, Lily, you're not! No! I need you!" Lily breathes another sigh of relief and squeals, "You do?" Crusty goes on to say that Lily's "turned into" a big help to Crusty, and that she purposely didn't involve Lily because people would be upset, and that she didn't want that reflecting unfairly on Lily. Lily says she appreciates that. Crusty very seriously tells Lily, "I need you to watch my back." Lily agrees, a little taken aback. Crusty figures that people will want to see her, and tells Lily to schedule appointments for her for the afternoon. Lily tentatively reminds Crusty that she'd told Lily that the presentation to the venture capitalists went well. Diffidently, Crusty says that it did, on one level: "We're not shut down, but...look, in order to protect our independence, I have to demonstrate that I can make the tough choices, so they give us money, without sending in a venture capitalist to oversee us. Do you know why they'd do that?" "Tell me," says Lily. "Because I'm a person with breasts," Crusty declares. "Oh," says Lily. "Oh," say I, only then I add "please." Crusty, first of all? No one told you to take your VC and open up a big, high-overhead office in the first place, did they? No, they didn't. You're not making a profit, so maybe you should work a little harder on your content and advertising, and worry a little less about sending out lavish press kits that Lily has to hand-tie with straw ribbon, and not buy as many black-and-white photo prints and fucking inflatable chairs for your reception area. Second of all, your breasts have nothing to do with whether your financial backers would send in a manager; I think that has more to do with your financial assets than those of your physiognomy. Third, if you really want to be independent, don't accept VC! I know of a very successful and solvent and, in fact, profitable site that started without a big VC infusion, only ran at a loss for two months, and has reaped public accolades without even sending out a single press kit. You know how that site did it? Bad-ass content, its only overhead expense. You know what that site is? You're soaking in it.
Lily goes to the kitchen and Artie, sitting at the table pouting, asks her if she's "alive or dead." Lily guesses she's alive. Artie offers her some bread with butter and sugar. Lily declines. Seriously? Her funeral. That shit is good. Artie complains about Crusty's working the staff for weeks on the VC presentation, to save her own ass, knowing all the while that she'd planned to fire said staff when she was through. Lily tells him that if he's pumping her for information, she doesn't know anything. Artie marvels that "she fired Muhar," and wonders idly how Crusty expects him to keep the site up without any help. There's some more chat about Artie's snack choices, after which he apologizes for putting Lily on the spot about her boss. Lily says it's okay, and that she feels bad about the situation because Crusty's been under a lot of pressure. Artie tells her that she has to be political, and that he understands. He's eating peanut butter. That's not a bad idea.