Episode Report Card Wing Chun: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Scribbling Rivalry
By Wing Chun | Season 2 | Episode 9 | Aired on 01.16.2001
Okay, here's the scene where my allegiance swings back to D.B. Sweeney, and for that I commend the writers. D.B. Sweeney follows Crusty into her office, closes the door behind him, and reminds her, "You took money from Clavan and Fosdick Venture Partners. If you wanted to run a little hobby magazine that never had to pay for itself, you should have gone to daddy for money." Point to D.B. Sweeney. Crusty snaps, "Why do you assume my daddy has money?" Uh, because he was in Analyze This? And also because when you take the VC and then whine about the conditions attached to it, you're acting like there's a more palatable option that you regret not taking, and no-strings money from a parent would certainly fall into that category. D.B. Sweeney tells her again that he's trying to save the thing she created, and she shoots back that he's trying to "fatten up the pig and take it to market as quickly as possible." (Wouldn't that be "the cow"?) And, again, you run a fucking webzine. Check NASDAQ -- you have nothing to take to market! Slowly and menacingly walking toward him, she continues, "If you push me out, all you'll have is your little shopping mall -- no reason on earth for anybody to come to it. 'Cause if somebody wants a screwdriver, they'll go to screwdrivers.com, not PagesAlive. If somebody wants to get screwed, they'll go directly to you." D.B. Sweeney's like, "Are you coming on to me?" Just kidding. But he could. Because she looks like she is, however ineptly. She strolls past him looking like she thinks she got the last word, and he wheels around and yells, "Isn't it just a little arrogant for you to assume that you're the only one around here that can create quality, and that everyone else is the enemy?" The camera cuts to Crusty, standing in front of the glass wall, on the other side of which Lily busily putters around her desk. Crusty retorts that everyone else isn't the enemy, and before she gets a chance to zing (or rather, "zing") D.B. Sweeney by adding, "You are! You doodyhead!" he points toward Lily and says, "Your own assistant came up with a great community-building idea but you won't give her the time of day. I had to meet with her to hear about it." Oh, D.B. Sweeney -- no. Crusty is stunned silent for a long moment, and then spins around to burn a hole clean through the glass wall and into the back of Lily's head.
Mere seconds later, Lily is standing before Crusty, who's accusing her of taking her rip-off idea to D.B. Sweeney behind Crusty's back. Lily protests that D.B. Sweeney heard about it and asked her to write something. Crusty, doing the slow, threatening walk again, says, "I explicitly asked you to tell me what he....Don't you see what he's doing, Lily? I trusted you!" Lily, beginning to appreciate what's happening, murmurs, "I know." Crusty squeals, "And you met with him!" Lily says that he asked her to breakfast, and she didn't feel she could refuse: "But believe me, he doesn't care about my idea! He just wants to date me!" This wounds Crusty most of all; her face crumbling, she makes for the couch and starts to cry, explaining for the radio audience, "I can't believe I'm sitting in the office of this place that I created, crying, 'cause the guy who's trying to take it from me likes you better!" Lily kneels down next to her and tries to soothe her. Crusty looks up and quietly says, "Lily?" Lily looks expectant. Crusty says, "You're fired." I wasn't shocked when that happened, because I saw it coming from the moment D.B. Sweeney spilled the beans. It still sucks for Lily, though. But she could probably get a job at another start-up now, just before it folds; lather, rinse, repeat until it's time to retire.