Episode Report Card Demian: B+ | 168 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Sin Francisco
By Demian | Season 3 | Episode 18 | Aired on 2001.04.19
You'd think that would be enough exposition for one goddamned episode. You'd be thinking wrong. Manor hall. Phoebe and Prue enter, and Prue pulls the box of Deadly Bath Beads from her purse. She intends to pop it open to investigate. Phoebe chides her, telling her to wait until Piper is present so Prue "won't go running into the street and get hit by a bus too." If that's a possibility, then don't wait, Prue. Open it! Open it now! She doesn't. Damn. Phoebe, who's wearing what appears to be a lavender strapless bra under a tackily-embroidered sky blue vest that is barely pinned together just over her cleavage, storms into the kitchen. There she finds Piper rolling sushi. Despite the supposed urgency of her mission, Phoebe pauses long enough for some more exposition with Piper. Piper's turned into quite the little hausfrau since the wedding. Her hours off-duty from P3 and witchcraft are spent catering to the Dolt's many needs. Exclusively. But she doesn't mind. Nope, not Piper. Not one bit. She actually likes "taking care of him, and cooking for him, and dressing up for him." As a matter of fact, she was just thinking about buying some new clothes for him. "You know, to de-flannel him a little." Total shout-out, but I don't care. Where is the real Piper, and what insidious force of evil has replaced her with this Stepford Wife? Phoebe jokingly asks if Piper is "afraid [she's] going to lose" the Dolt. Phoebe greets the downcast silence from her sister with disbelief. It seems Piper is still frightened that The Powers That Be will find an excuse to tear the Dolt away from her again. "There was nothing in [our] wedding vows that said 'They' still couldn't break us apart," she explains. She's determined not to provide either TPTB or the Dolt with a reason to end the marriage. Phoebe shifts the topic of conversation to the issue at hand. She fills Piper in on that morning's "accident," tells Piper she and Prue need her, and exits to the parlor. Piper purses her lips a bit and follows.
In the parlor, Prue perches on the sofa, twirling the box of Deadly Bath Beads around in her hands. Phoebe asks Prue what she thinks she's doing. Prue replies again that she intends to open the box. Phoebe counters that doing so might "unleash some huge abomination." Huge abomination? You're wearing it, Phoebe. Prue thinks they can collectively deal with whatever the box contains. Piper pipes in that in any event they should consult her "husband" first. Prue snarks they "didn't need his opinion before, when he was just 'Leo.'" The Dolt orbs in with, "You called?" Phoebe asks him if they should open the box. The Dolt suggests they consult the Book of Shadows first. Piper finds this an excellent idea. Prue bitches a bit, then the four head for the stairs. Piper interrupts, reminding Phoebe of her two o'clock appointment with her Ethics professor. Phoebe proposes that she reschedule the meeting and remain at the manor to assist the others. Prue insists that Phoebe go, assuring her that the remaining three can handle the box of Deadly Bath Beads without her. Phoebe relents. Before Phoebe can leave, Prue suggests, "First, you might want to change into…clothes? You know, an actual shirt?" Phoebe glances down at her barely-concealed boobs, adopts a doofy five-bong-hit grin, and jiggles upstairs to change. Prue makes a "she's popping out of her top" gesture to Piper and the Dolt before heading up to the attic. Yeah, like you have room to criticize, Prue.