Episode Report Card Owen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT That Old Black Magic
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 6 | Aired on 11.10.1999
Sunroom. The Ps enter and ask what happened. Leo downplays it: "Just a little crash, that's all." Prue wails about the broken window. Piper gets in on the act, stating that she "knows who'll fix it." Then she bitches at him because "what if someone saw [him]?" Leo: "Like Dan?" Ugh. Second verse, same as the first. Then Leo gets concerned because Piper has a cut on her forehead. She shoos him away. JW asks the Ps if they "kicked some butt or what." Phoebe: "Or what." Heh. They explain that Prue's been stripped of her power and Tuatha disappeared. JW is flummoxed, because even the Ps are scared now. As he waves his -- ahem -- wand around for emphasis, he whines: "I. Can't. Do. This." He throws his -- ahem -- wand down on the sofa and storms out. Piper bitches at Leo some more: "You can't stop him, even if it is his destiny." Prue asks Pheebs to find some spells in the BoS to try to defeat Tuatha, "because no one knows the BoS better" than she. Yeah, she fits in her reading in between Judge Judy and Ricki Lake. The lazy Ps go off to the attic.
Shazaam! State Park. More Blair Witch rip-off. The "Heather" and "Mike" manqués bite it. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Cut to Tuatha casting a spell with the two fresh hearts, reciting: Before the passing of this hour/ Take away all of their powers. I'm suddenly bereft of my ability to discern quality entertainment. Tuatha powders her, um, snake and sends it to find her -- ahem -- wand.
Halliwell Manor. Kitchen. Tiresome "breaking up some more" scene with Piper and Leo. She lets him lay his hands upon her to heal the cut on her forehead. Then she defends mortal Dan as someone who "at least [she] can count on to be there for [her]." Ouch. White lighter, heal thyself!
Street. Johnny Wand walking down a sidewalk away from Halliwell Manor. Dan and Jenny drive by in his SUV. Jenny: "Uncle Dan! Stop! That's Johnny Wand, a friend of Piper's! He's cool! I'll be home soon!" Dan makes a half-hearted effort to stop her by reminding her it's a school night. Jenny: "Half an hour." She runs out, and immediately asks him where the -- ahem -- wand is. JW moans, "It's not mine, it never was." Jenny, all insatiable: "You could have fooled me!" Then she gives JW advice from the genius next door: "Phoebe once told me that if it matters to you, it matters. So if they think you're somebody, Johnny Wand, then you probably are." JW runs off to smack some sense into Phoebe's empty head, leaving vulnerable young Jenny on the dark urban street alone. HA HA!