Episode Report Card Owen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT That Old Black Magic
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 6 | Aired on 11.10.1999
Halliwell Manor. Piper paces in the parlor. The dust bunny appears near the fireplace and turns into the, um, snake. POV of snake stalking Piper. For the denser viewers, the editor then inserts a shot of the snake advancing toward the camera. Glad the mystery of whoever was on the floor slithering toward Piper was cleared up. Shot of oblivious Piper. POV of snake again. Snake front again. Piper, still oblivious. Owen, IQ plummeting. Prue comes into the room. POV of snake. Snake front. Phoebe comes into the room also. The only people in suspense are probably the institutionalized. Phoebe bitches that she couldn't find a spell, just that "binding one using human hearts." Piper says, "Take mine. It just gets me into trouble anyway." Shut up, Piper -- your actions on this episode already evince a total absence of "heart." Then Leo walks into the room and immediately spots the, um, snake. Phoebe and Piper shriek and jump up onto the furniture. Prue, to her credit, struts over to the hearth, grabs a shovel and brusquely cuts off the, um, snake's head. The, um, snake turns into two, um, um, snakes. Johnny Wand bursts into the manor. Piper, suddenly needing her cast-off, screams at Leo to "do something!" Leo picks up the -- ahem -- wand and throws it to JW. JW, uh, thrusts the -- ahem -- wand at the, um, er, snakes and "wills" them away.
If a policeman just walked into my house without a warrant and without my consent and busted my balls because my guests and I got too boisterous while playing a board game he, his department, and the city would be in for a world of legal hurt.
Halliwell Manor. Kitchen. Jars and bottles strewn about. Phoebe shows off her abs and the fruit of her potion-making labor. One vial is a potion "to induce sleep." Another potion can "repel an evil threat." Another vial can "put out a fire." Prue: "What kind of potion does that?" Phoebe admits the vial is just full of -- get this! -- water. Story of her life: She "didn't have much" and "did the best with what she could do." Piper wants to know where the potion is that will "give Johnny Wand courage." Phoebe admits, sadly, that there isn't one. Prue is nonplussed. Phoebe: "She's scared. She doesn't like feeling so powerless." Piper thinks that "maybe that's our lesson for the day -- taking our powers for granted." Hey writers, if that's a shout out to the recaps, I take back what I said a while back about putting the LftD earlier in the show. I'd like them removed altogether and replaced with subtextual themes. Thanks! Prue decides that they'll "just have to find a way to help Johnny Wand feel more courageous without magic." If y'all are still watching and don't know what's going to happen next, the attendants must have let you stay up past your bedtime.