Episode Report Card Owen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT That Old Black Magic
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 6 | Aired on 11.10.1999
Attic. Prue, bitch on and arms crossed: "He's just a kid!" Leo: "Blah blah destiny." Prue, put out that this episode isn't all about her: "Then why did I get the [ahem] wand?" Leo says that she was chosen to bring it to him. He adds that there's no spell in the Book of Shadows that will allow the Halliwells to defeat Tuatha. Prue continues to bitch about JW and his role in all of this, as the docile Ps cower. Leo urges the sisters to help train JW to use the -- ahem -- wand. Prue wants the sister witches to try to defeat Tuatha on their own. Leo says that Tuatha will kill them. Prue aims her slanted stink-eye at him and declares: "Don't bet on it." Piper throws out her own "and the blue light you orbed in on" and the Ps go off to try to find out where Tuatha is hiding.
Kitchen. Johnny Wand is standing there holding his -- ahem -- power rod in both hands while he examines its -- titter, titter -- tip. Just then Jenny "Bitch On-genue" walks right in the back door without even knocking and says, "Hey," to him. He greets her. She introduces herself. JW stammers that he's the Chosen One. She asks what his real name is, then suddenly gets really interested in the -- ahem -- wand he's holding, uh, upright in front of her. JW tells her that "it's magic." Jenny "doesn't believe in magic." JW: "Blah blah everyone believes in magic." So this is what the young people are calling it these days (tm Maggie). Instead of the wild sax licks or Sex-on-the-Desk Melrosian Guitar Strumming that should accompany the rest of the scene, some wind chimes start to tinkle. ["Geddit? 'Tinkle'? Okay, sorry." -- Sars] JW holds the -- ahem -- wand in front of Jenny with one finger, and it begins to move around and around and up and down in such a way that both JW and Jenny pop their eyes out and their hair blows back. Jenny thinks that it's "so cool!" Suddenly, Leo walks into the room, demanding to know "what they think they're doing." Johnny Wand puts his -- ahem -- wand away really fast. JW: "Uh, I was just --" "Telling your friend goodbye?" Leo finishes. Jenny, all defensive, says she can "take a hint." Prove it, honey! Arabian Airlines is ready when you are! She says that she just came over to tell Piper that "Uncle Dan" wants to talk to her. She leaves. Leo asks JW seductively, "So you still think you're not the Chosen One?"
Tuatha's -- Cough, Cough -- Cave. She finds her own Book of Shadows under a rock. She looks in it and finds a spell requiring "a red ribbon tied around a fresh heart."