Episode Report Card Sara M: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Lies, Lies, Lies, Yeah!
By Sara M | Season 8 | Episode 23 | Aired on 05.16.2004
Martin enters, looking dour. Lucy asks him if they can expect Asslee for dinner tonight. "Asslee who?" Martin asks, which is a question I would have expected Lucy to say after her previous dumbass comments in this scene. Martin says he doesn't want to talk to Asslee, except that he does. "Love stinks," says Martin, and excuse me, but that was the titular line from the Season Four finale. You're supposed to say something like, "It's no LITTLE WHITE LIE that I love Asslee!" Roxanne asks Martin if he's okay. "Do I look okay?" snots Martin. Well, Martin, I'd have to say that, besides those area rugs you have for eyebrows, you do. Maybe you should try actually acting upset.
Matt calls his apartment in New York, only to hear his answering machine message, which features an obnoxious, giggly PC and Matt telling him to leave a message at the beep. Matt hangs up. On himself, when you think about it. Weird…anyway, now he's calling Heather's mom. He has a message for Heather. It's…
Jeffrey walks into the church offices to see his foster father and his tutor making out. Jeffrey stares for a while, then interrupts them. Meanwhile, how long have they been making out? And their clothes are still on and entirely intact? I expected better from you, Kendull. Jeffrey scolds Chandler for forgetting to take him to the movies as Boyfriend Sean walks in. He takes in the scene, and the first thing he expresses is surprise that Kendull would cheat on him with Chandler of all people, who Kendull said was "annoying and weird." Don't forget "doughy"! Kendull curtly says she likes Chandler now, and then she and Chandler start flirting. "I'm still in the room!" says Sean, still not able to believe that two people could be such rude, inconsiderate assholes. I guess he's never seen this show before. Jeffrey decides to announce that what is about to unfold is way better than a movie, and he takes a seat. Sean needs to punch that little bitch. No, not Kendull, the other one. No, not Chandler. The other one.
Asslee finds Pam on the Promenade. "What are you doing here?" asks Pam, sounding kind of annoyed to see her. Asslee says she needs to talk to someone, and apparently, her dad just wasn't enough. Mac strolls up with an ice cream and a root beer float. Asslee's all, "Um, what?" Pam says she can explain, except unless the explanation is, "I'm totally pathetic," she really can't. Mac says he can apologize. Asslee says she forgives him. Mac says that's great, and now they need to talk about her and Simon.