Episode Report Card Sara M: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Lies, Lies, Lies, Yeah!
By Sara M | Season 8 | Episode 23 | Aired on 05.16.2004
Vic and Peter are having a man-to-man talk about Latina women, and how Peter believes that they use the "needing help on math homework" excuse to lure innocent men into their trap. Vic laughs at Peter's fears and tells him to just tell Maria that he's not interested and leave it at that. But Peter heard some rumors in gym class about how Maria "doesn't take 'no' for an answer." That's right: Maria's the serial rapist of Glenoak Junior High. Vic asks what else Peter heard. Peter says…
Asslee's dad clears his throat. Oh, the suspense of not knowing what else Peter's classmates are saying about Maria shall surely kill me. Mr. Smith tells Martin that Asslee refuses to talk to him. Martin asks if she's been talking to Simon. Asslee's dad doesn't know, but he is going to have a sandwich. Would Martin like to have one, too?
Pam meets Mac on the Promenade. He asks her if she wants him to beg for his forgiveness, or grovel for it. Pam asks what the difference is between the two, like, surely that's the first thing you and the guy who tried to trick you into sleeping with him should address. Mac says groveling involves "a lot of kneeling." Apparently, he's given up on going for home base and is going to settle for third.
Wearing her skankiest dress, Kendull walks into the church offices, again without knocking, and starts to make out with Chandler. He breaks it up to ask Kendull about her boyfriend. She's not too concerned with him right now. They make out some more, collapsing into the couch. How pious!
Matt and Heather walk along the Promenade. Matt asks Heather what she wants. She says she wants to not have just wasted the last three years in her life with a man she didn't love. So go build a time machine and go away, Heather. Matt tells Heather he's going to get a divorce, and asks if he can be a part of her life now.
Oh my God, Lucy, you are not wearing a bright red-orange terrycloth tracksuit that would be snug on Ruthie, are you? Yes. Yes, you are. Roxanne walks in, and is polite enough to not say anything about Lucy's god-awful fashion sense, or even throw her hands in front of her face to shield her eyes from the blinding brightness of Lucy's outfit. Although would it have really killed Roxanne to knock on the door instead of just walking into Lucy's house? What if she wasn't dressed or something? I mean, really, she's barely dressed now in that outfit, which looks like it could burst apart at the seams if Lucy so much as flexes a muscle. Roxanne tells Lucy that she can stop being such a bee-yotch, because she's not trying to get promoted. So what is she doing? And yes, this time it will be revealed before the scene ends: Roxanne is joining the army to go to Iraq. Lucy raises her eyebrows and bugs out her eyes. I'm just disgusted.