Episode Report Card Sara M: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Lies, Lies, Lies, Yeah!
By Sara M | Season 8 | Episode 23 | Aired on 05.16.2004
Chandler and Kendull walk along the Promenade, holding hands. Jeffrey says he wants pizza for dinner. Kendull says she loves pizza, and asks for Chandler's opinion. We see that Chandler has a black eye, the result of being punched by Sean. Chandler says he loves pizza, like, did Kendull really even have to ask? It's pretty obvious. Chandler says the black eye was worth getting Kendull, and they kiss. Jeffrey watches them, then walks away. Bye, Jeffrey. Kendull tells Chandler that she "just found out" that she got into Wharton Business School. Chandler asks if there's a Wharton extension in Glenoak. Surprisingly, there isn't. But there are a lot of churches in Pennsylvania, so maybe Chandler would like to move there? With Jeffrey, whose old grandma isn't dead yet? So Chandler can marry Kendull and she can adopt Jeffrey too, and then the kid will have a crush on his own mother? Sick! But I guess that's what you get when you drive with a suspended license and vandalize a phone and get arrested.
Asslee's sitting in the backyard, sulking. Simon comes through the gate and sounds genuinely happy to see her, which has got to be a first for Asslee. He says he's glad to be off the freeway because the traffic "was a nightmare." He ran over ten, possibly eleven, children! Simon notices that Asslee is upset, and asks if she and Martin got in a fight about him. Asslee says, "Yes…and no." Thanks for being so clear about that, Asslee. Asslee says that they just broke up, but not because of Simon. Simon dramatically puts his duffel bag down and asks Asslee what's going on. She doesn't know. Simon asks what he can do. She doesn't know. Do they have another chance? She doesn't know. Does she still love him? No answer. Wow, they really saved up all their best dramatic writing for this episode, didn't they? Martin peeks out from behind a curtain. Simon realizes that things are now going to be awkward for him around the house. Asslee smiles. Way to make things suck for your traumatized ex-boyfriend, Asslee. You suck. Simon and Asslee hug as Martin watches. I think he's supposed to be angry or jealous, but it's hard to tell since his face is totally blank.
There are babies a-plenty in the New York hospital nursery. Carlos picks one up, a boy, then looks over at the CamRents, who are behind a window for the babies' protection. Annie pulls a face while RevCam points at the baby like a dumbass. Carlos smiles and points back and forth between him and the baby. Aw, Carlos is cute. So is the baby. Annie pulls another face, and RevCam smiles. Carlos walks out of the nursery as the CamRents smile at each other. Carlos dumps the baby in RevCam's arms. The baby immediately starts to cry, which is hilarious. Annie makes monkey-like cooing sounds while RevCam holds the baby way out in front of him, like, doesn't Stephen Collins have children? Doesn't he know how to hold one? "I'm a grandma!" says Annie, in between making little "o" shapes with her mouth. Sympathetic Nurse comes out, and how long did her shift last? She's been there for days! She tells Carlos that they're bringing Mary to her room. RevCam dumps the baby in Annie's hands, and she proceeds to make unappealing goo-goo sounds that make the baby cry anew. Hasn't Catherine Hicks had kids, too? Annie asks what the baby's name is. Carlos says it's Charles Miguel, after their dead grandfathers. RevCam's eyes moisten as he demands a picture of them with the baby. Carlos grabs his digital camera and takes a picture of JUST THE BABY. Ha! Carlos, Mary, and the cute baby are cool. I hope they never appear on this show again to tarnish that reputation.