Episode Report Card Montykins: A | 425 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Don't Lose the Hostages
By Montykins | Season 2 | Episode 6 | Aired on 2012.05.06
King's Landing! Myrcella is being rowed into the water. Well, I guess a boat is being rowed, but Myrcella is a passenger on that boat. There's a septon droning on about marriage and the court is watching her leave. Cersei tells Tyrion she wants him to know what it's like to love someone, so she can take it away. Tommen is crying and King Joffrey mocks him, saying that it's unprincely behavior. Sansa says she saw Joffrey cry, which is a bad thing to say. He turns on her and she modifies her claim to be about seeing her little brother crying when she left. Joffrey says her little brother isn't a prince, so it doesn't count.
King Joffrey walks through the crowd, which is supposedly composed of his loyal subjects. Some people shout things like "All hail the king!" But they're doing it in kind of a sarcastic tone. Some others shout about how they want food or about what a little weasel Joffrey is. Tyrion has Tommen hustled back to the castle. Then a hunk of shit bounces off Joffrey's face. A riot starts! The peasants are revolting! The crowd surrounds Joffrey's retinue. Joffrey shouts, "Kill them! Kill them all!" The Hound picks up Joffrey and drags him to safety while Joffrey demands executions. The crowd falls on the septon and rips off his arm. They're pretty pleased with themselves for that move.
Once everyone's safely into a locked room, Tyrion asks where Sansa is. She's still out there. The soldiers retreat, killing a few peasants. And then there's possibly my favorite closed-captioning ever, which reads thusly: "People: MOTHERFUCKER"
Sansa's still trapped outside. Some rapists chase her down an alley. I mean, I don't know if they've definitely raped anyone in the past, but they definitely plan on doing some raping as soon as they catch up with her.
Tyrion calls Joffrey a vicious idiot. Joffrey gets mad at being talked to that way. Tyrion says he was hit by a cow pie so he wanted to kill them all? And the people are starving from a war Joffrey started! Joffrey tries on some dudgeon: "You're talking to a king!" SLAP! Tyrion: "And now I've struck a king! Did my hand fall from my wrist?" Tyrion is really angry at Joffrey and asks if he's protected Sansa, who's the only way to get Jaime back. Joffrey wants to let the people have Sansa, because all he cares about is his own safety and maybe causing some pain here and there.