Episode Report Card Sara M: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Let's Not, and Say We Did
By Sara M | Season 3 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.22.1998
His first babysitting class apparently completed, Simon storms into the house and says that he doesn't need to go to more classes because he knows all there is to know about the subject. He even knows how to "make someone throw up." Hey -- me too! Just watch The WB every Monday at 8. Annie says that she'll be glad to have Simon's help when the twins arrive. "No offense," Simon responds, "but, um, I doubt you can afford me." Well, they can presumably afford to keep you sheltered, clothed, and fed, so that's really enough, isn't it, you ungrateful brat?
Annie tells RevCam that she's having her rapidly made baby-class friends Barbara and Cassandra over for dinner tomorrow for a vegetarian meal that can be made into baby food. Sounds pretty disgusting for both the adult and the child. Also? "Barbara"? "Cassandra"? Not only are those names way too long for me to type out over and over again, they're also more of Brenda Hampton's names from the '50s. So I'll be calling them "Babs" and "Cassie" instead. Hey, better to have names that were popular in the '70s than twenty years before that, right? RevCam says he's looking forward to a dinner of strained carrots and peas, at which point Annie breaks the news that he'll be spending his evening talking the father of Cassie's baby into coming to the baby classes, and trying to get Sam, Babs's boyfriend, a job. RevCam asks whether Sam has a diploma or a GED. Nope, he doesn't. "One useful skill?" RevCam asks. Well, if his girlfriend is pregnant, then he obviously has at least one useful skill. Because fornicators are a wicked folk, it turns out that Sam does have a criminal record. Annie doesn't know the specifics of Sam's offense because "[she] didn't want to butt into every aspect of their lives -- that's [RevCam's] job." Harsh, but true. Annie says that she and the girls will meet up with RevCam and the boys at the pool hall and have dinner. But...wait...I thought that they were going to make a vegetarian dinner? Couldn't they just eat that instead? Annie's plan just gets more and more needlessly complicated by the second. Also, who goes to a pool hall for the specific purpose of eating dinner? Isn't pool-hall food kind of nasty?
Ruthie wanders into Simon's room and demands that he use his new skills to babysit her ugly dolls, one of which is lactose-intolerant. I don't know.
Matt walks around the Crawford Clown College campus bitching to one of his classmates that he still doesn't have an idea for his sex project. His friend says that he's all set with his -- he'll be interviewing the CamRents! Matt does not punch him in the face for that tasteless joke told to the wrong audience. The friend says that his real project will be to videotape men saying the lines they use to get women to have sex with them, and then he'll cut in shots of women responding to those lines in different ways. Then his sister will deliver a monologue about how men don't talk women into anything because women have minds of their own and can make their own decisions. "Wow," you might be thinking right now, "what kind of a creepy weirdo would ask his sister to participate in his human sexuality project?" Don't worry -- you'll find out soon enough.