Episode Report Card Sara M: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Let's Not, and Say We Did
By Sara M | Season 3 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.22.1998
We get to see the next few scenes in "Matt-Cam." Everything's black and white, with a little "record" sign flashing in the top right of the screen and the time on the top left. It's like The X-Files meets the PaigeCam, only much less interesting and much more stupid. And infinitely more creepy, as you'll soon see.
12:01 AM. Mary paces around a seated Annie in the kitchen, saying that she isn't going to have sex, and if she were, she wouldn't have to go to a co-ed sleepover party to do it. Oh my God, how many times are we going to hear about how big parties aren't the place to have sex before the writers decide that we get it? "Good point," Annie says, even though it isn't because guess what? I've been to big co-ed parties where quite a few participants seemed to have no qualms about public displays of affection. Annie continues, "Under what circumstances would you have sex?" Mary responds by turning around and glaring at the Matt-Cam.
1:03 AM. Lucy points out to RevCam that Romeo and Juliet were only fourteen and they were in love. RevCam says that if she had actually read the play, she would know that it ended with them killing themselves. Well, she's not going to read it now that you've given away the ending, is she? Way to spoil good literature for everyone, Eric. RevCam says that Lucy is only fifteen and doesn't know if she's going to be with Jordan for the rest of her life or not. Lucy asks why, if one is planning to spend the rest of his life with someone, one should wait until marriage to have sex. RevCam responds by looking at the Matt-Cam.
2:00 AM. Now relocated to the kitchen, RevCam stirs his coffee and asks Mary why she lied about the sleepover if she didn't think she was doing anything wrong. Mary says that she didn't think she was doing anything wrong, but that she knew the CamRents would, so she lied. RevCam asks her why she thinks she's mature enough to make decisions like that, but not mature enough to stand up for them, preferring instead to sneak around. Mary turns to the camera, giving the innocent viewing audience another screen full of her face.
3:00 AM. How can so much time have elapsed when so little has actually been said? Annie tells Lucy that Lucy needs to have a "plan" about sex, and obviously, Annie would prefer that Lucy's plan be to wait until marriage. Lucy says that's fine, but "is there something in between that? You know, more than kissing, less than having sex?" Annie's facial expression at this would be appropriate if she just found out that the world was ending. For her daughter asking about second and third base? A little much. Oh, and Lucy: you're fifteen and you go to public school. Surely you have some idea of what's in between kissing and sex. Come on now.