Episode Report Card Gustave: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Ladies with an attitude
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 10 | Aired on 02.04.2002
Back at CTU, Soul Patch has gotten the flight plan of Cofell's private plane. He's headed for Denver. Ooh! Maybe he's taking a vacation at a Terror Ski Lodge! Maybe there's a Terror Independent Film Festival that he serves as a trustee for. Endless possibilities! Alberta Green enters, and as Steven Tyler of Aerosmith once said many years ago, "Ba na ba na, dude looks like a lady!" Jesus, how many more bad-ass black women can this series handle? I'm not complaining, mind you. Alberta greets Nina imperiously, and you can cut the tension with a knife. Nina takes the floor and makes that generic office announcement to "welcome" the new boss. What, no icky party where everyone stands around silently drinking California wine from plastic cups and munching on cubes of bad cheese with toothpicks sticking out of them? Where's the office love? But I guess there's no time for a party, according to Alberta. They've got to stop the Palmer assassination and find the newly deposed Kiefer, who is a fugitive from justice. "I know you've all been up over twenty-four hours," says Alberta to the gathered extras. "Too bad!" No party for you, Alberta. Or should I say, "Miss Green if you're nasty!" She walks over to Nina -- whom she towers over by, like, a foot -- and makes a reference to the awkwardness of having to work together. "But we're professionals and we'll get through this," she says. Now that I primarily work out of my home, I miss having an office bitch to complain about. Thank God for this show.
Palmer raps with the kids over at the elementary school. It's really cute and intimate -- well, except for the legions of journalists, photographers, and aides who are gathered at the back of the room. Is there a precocious child in the house? Sure is! Does Palmer handle the situation with warmth and panache? Sure does! Poor Man's Hume Cronyn interrupts to tell him about an important phone call from his "biggest contributor." Palmer leaves the kids with Lady Mac -- who's probably gonna make them all lick the envelopes on her thank-you notes -- and takes the call. It's the bug-eyed Steve Forbes guy. He's pulling his money out of Palmer's campaign because Kreepy Karl is playing "hardball." Apparently there are plans to "take care" of George Ferragamo, Theo's therapist. "I need to talk to Kreepy Karl," says Palmer to PMHC. "Now!" The time is 9:51:14 AM.
The time is 9:56:09 AM. Klockwise from the top left, Kiefer drives the new Kiefmobile some more, Alberta makes herself at home in the old Kiefer Kube, and Bride and Spawn indulge in some more girl-on-girl non-action. Alberta summons Nina to the Kiefer Kube…to make out with her. Did I say that out loud? Who let that straight man inside my head? They don't make out or anything, but they have a repeat of the "where's Kiefer?" Mason interrogation, complete with Nina feigning ignorance and offers of immunity from Alberta. Rinse and repeat. Sexual innuendo gets thrown around about Nina and Kiefer's relationship, blah blah blah. "Not that I'm judging you, Nina," says Alberta. "But there's a right way to do these things. Let them screw you, but don't let them screw you over." Someone's been reading Camille Paglia! Nina excuses herself to get back to work.