Episode Report Card Sara M: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Matt Is Still Stupid
By Sara M | Season 8 | Episode 10 | Aired on 11.23.2003
Clock-wipe (woooo!) to Marie looking at her food tray but not eating anything. Oh, just die already, Marie. She whines to Matt that she wants to go home and feed her dog. Marie doesn't like being in the ER; it's "too quiet." She says she's used to hearing noise because her friend is "a talker," and she was always, of course, talking about "that one thing." What one thing? Let's allow Marie to clarify: "The one thing that she could really be good at, the one thing that would make her stand out; her contribution to life." She's tried painting, writing, and running, but never had any success. Don't be too upset, Marie; maybe your friend had the best stroke ever. Assbeard spies on Matt and Marie from between the curtains. He is so going to become Matt's surrogate father. Matt tells Marie that if she wants to talk, he'll listen. Marie says that Matt can talk, and she'll listen. Assbeard strolls in and says that no one is going to talk or listen because the students have to meet at the desk. As he leaves, Marie thanks him. Matt says he "didn't do anything." That's the first thing Matt and I have ever agreed on.
And we're back in the CamPound, because some of the contract cast members have yet to do their weekly walk-on roles. Specifically Roxanne, who enters the kitchen with Lucy in tow. They see Chandler, and Roxanne the Pathetic remarks that it's awfully coincidental that he would come over when Roxanne and Lucy have their weekly pizza night. Chandler gives Roxanne the phone and Asslee's instructions, then leaves. Lucy grabs the phone and hangs it up while Roxanne stares at Chandler's receding form with a blank expression. I can't believe the phone was ringing for that long. Isn't there some kind of recording that picks up after thirty rings and tells you to give it up already?
The students give Assbeard their "H and P" reports on their three cases. Except for Matt, who only has two H and Ps. Assbeard asks what happened to his third one. Matt says that "someone" took that case over before he could finish. Assbeard gets pissed and asks Matt if he's just having a really bad day, or if this is the best he can do. "Neither," says Matt. Assbeard tells the group that, to learn how to care for patients, they have to care "a little less" about them. Nurse Debi walks by and rolls her eyes, saying that "that's brilliant." How rude. And dumb -- isn't Assbeard kind of her boss? I'm sure he could get her fired if he really wanted to. Assbeard rather generously gives Matt until five tomorrow to do his work for today and tomorrow. Matt looks like he's going to cry, and I do feel a little bit bad for him. Everyone scatters, and PC invites Matt out with the rest of the students to celebrate their first day in the ER. Matt declines. PC says that he's off the clock, and he needs to start acting like part of the group instead of trying to look better than everyone. Matt dramatically takes the pink stethoscope off, but not so dramatically that the little stuffed animal attached to it comes loose.