Episode Report Card Demian: B- | 7 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Forever CANCELLED!
By Demian | Season 8 | Episode 22 | Aired on 2006.05.21
Chez Victor. The gentleman in question sits in his robe at the dining room table, steeping a teabag in a mug while gazing bleakly at a toy chicken, but I'm not really paying attention to anything that's going on in this scene because Drew Fuller's name just app-- whoops. What I meant to say was, Victor gazes bleakly at a toy chicken until he hears a knock at the apartment's door. This time when he leaps over to answer, however, he finds not his sole surviving daughter standing in the hall with her freshly unfrozen husband, but rather his overexuberant and dead ex-wife with their two gay adult grandsons from the future. And that is the most bizarre sentence I've ever typed in my entire life. "Yaaaaaah!" Victor screams as Patty hops into his arms. There's a cute little scene in which 1975 Patty at long last learns what 1976 Patty did with Sam Sam The Whitelighting Man before Daddy Dearest sends Big Gay Chris and Boring Jesus off to consult with their younger selves. The screen flares white to escort us over to...
...Not!warts and STILL NOT CARING. Chrissssty and Fugly Rufus bang their weeny little heads together to figure out a different way of reaching The Zombie Triad now that Maggot Neck and Chrissssty have broken up. Next!
The Hagquarters. Piper and Grams bicker over a smoking pot brimming with Retard-destroying potion when someone raps at The Hagquarters's door. Raige answers to find her long-lost husband loitering in the hall. Darling Henry! So nice to see you again! I'm afraid I must inform you, though, that you are now my second-favorite gentleman on this show, because my adorable husband has returned from the future. Sorry! Raige and Henry banter. Over in the kitchenette, Grams mutters darkly, "Don't tell me she married a Whitelighter, too." "Worse," Piper smirks, "a mortal." "Oh, good God!" Grams cringes. "Didn't I teach you girls anything?" Piper's all, "Eh, whatever. There's always 'Uncle [Stoop].'" With that she gestures dismissively towards the boudoir, where we find Phoebe and Stoop in a heated discussion about their relationshzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Wow. I swear to God, Victor Webster's, like, three feet taller than Alyssa Milano. Couldn't she have stood on a box for these scenes? It's terribly distracting. Not as distracting as his almost debilitating hotness, you understand, but still. Have they shut up about their boring issues yet? They haven't? I'm going for a cigarette, then. Back in a few.