Episode Report Card Wing Chun: B+ | 40 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT "My Husband's Back And He Phases Through Solid Matter"
By Wing Chun | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 2006.10.30
Niki closes the door and turns around to see D.L. well into her personal space. She purposefully stomps over to close Micah's bedroom door (I think -- did I mention it's fucking dark, and that there isn't a room in Niki's house that hasn't been decorated with mirrors?), and then orders D.L. to tell her what happened. He launches right in, saying that he planned the job. "I know that you planned the job," she crabs. "'Baby, it's gonna solve all our problems.'" Worst D.L. impression ever. D.L. defensively says that the job would have netted them $2 million -- "enough to get us out of Vegas." How the hell far did you intend to go, dude? It's Vegas, not Alcatraz. "Money that you stole from Linderman," Niki exposits. D.L. says...something mumbly, but the gist is that Linderman would not have been pleased at the loss and would have killed all three members of the Hawkins/Sanders family, so D.L. pussed out. ("Stepped out" is how he puts it, to look like less of a puss.) But then someone else "stepped in," knowing the whole plan, and killed D.L.'s crew. "And made off with all the money?" Niki asks. "You have no idea who that is?" As soon as D.L. says, "I know it was a woman," everyone had better know how the storyline plays out, and anyone who didn't, I will assume that you either have never watched TV before or suffered a head injury at 8:40 the night this aired, because otherwise, you just make me sad. Giving credence to the "brain tumour" theory she will bust out later, Niki's like, "'Woman'?" D.L. knows a guy who cleans money, and who just cleaned $2 million for someone; he's going to see this dude tomorrow and find out more about his quarry. It's hard to tell whether Niki believes this tale or not, because Ali Larter is kind of a bitchface at all times.
In Texas, Claire is walking home with Zach, apparently having told him what we already know about her upcoming parental meet-and-greet. "How am I supposed to ask someone if they're [sic] a freak when they're probably just going to lie about it like I do?" Claire asks rhetorically. Zach suggests that she ask her faux-rents what happens when they cut themselves: "Or you could just cut them and find out." You know, meetings like this are so fraught with tension even when no one's a freak that cutting them might be a decent icebreaker. Claire chuckles that, if she did, they'd probably just take it as evidence that she's bitter that they "gave [her] away." Zach good-naturedly opines that although she can be "a little bitchy," Claire isn't bitter -- "about the adoption thing," at least. Claire agrees that she isn't: "I'm curious about it, and it's a little weird and maybe a little sad, but I'm not mad. I mean, I love my parents." Zach muses that Claire's life would be different if her biological parents had raised her. Claire stops in the driveway and asks Zach, very seriously, "What if they can do what I can do? What if they're like me?" Zach says he hopes they can't; he likes that Claire's uniqueness makes her special. Looking pleased, Claire asks, "Are you flirting with me?" Zach scoffs, "No! Believe me, no." Zach, you fool, that was your in! Just think about the wild times you could have with Claire! I feel pretty confident that she would like it rough. ["I, meanwhile, feel pretty confident that Zach does not swing Claire's way, but maybe that's just me." -- Sars] Anyway, Claire looks a little sad to have been so decisively shut down, but Zach doesn't notice as he barrels ahead, asking whether she plans to "come out" to her non-bio-parents. Claire dramatic-ironies that her dad is "a really simple guy. He'd never be able to wrap his mind around something like that." Well, sure -- he has a guy whose job it is to wrap his mind around things.