Episode Report Card Potes: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Consumer Retorts
By Potes | Season 18 | Episode 4 | Aired on 03.21.2012
Annaliese is next, and manages to rock a big poufy hat that looks like a paper flower decoration. Laura is the first to get down on the ground and try to make out with her car, which bodes well. Nigel loves her. And then there's Candace. Nigel tells her that she looks great, but Sophie wonders if anyone will realize that she never moves. She does a quick assessment of the American girls, and notes that Azmarie and Laura are the only real competition. From what we've seen so far, that seems pretty accurate. Candace says that she's psyched and pumped to have Nigel as a photographer, and expresses those emotions by keeping her face completely still. Next we have Sophie, who jumps for a while, and leans far back, and then kind of cracks up about the bouncing car. Nigel is glad that she's having fun, but also wants her to know that she's wasting them money with all of her stupid laughing. I think his character today is "stern dad." Wait, revise that: "Stern creepy dad." He's frustrated by the fact that he couldn't get Sophie looking good and the car jumping in the same frame. Finally there's Eboni, who knows that she's supposed to be 30-Never, but also feels like she has to stay true to herself. She also gets on the ground, and seems to do quite well. And that's a wrap!
Back at the house, Kyle packs. Azmarie asks what's up, and Kyle says that she doesn't want to stay in the house when someone else really wants it and she doesn't. But she still hasn't actually made a decision. She's going to sleep on it, and by "it" she means her packed suitcase. Laura is sick of people quitting when thousands of girls would love to be there. Candace wants Kyle to step up to the plate and actually leave, mostly because she realizes there's a great chance that her ass is toast otherwise. With this statement of charity and goodwill, we head to commercials.
When we return, it's panel time. There are prizes, there are judges. Miss J. is the guest judge, which makes me think that Martin Lindstrom had to bow out at the last minute. Sophie is first up for evaluation. Nigel says that she was very high fashion, but the problem was that when she and the gown looked great, the cars weren't perfect. He tells her to pull it together quicker. Cutrone thinks that Sophie's picture looks like a maternity ad for a hobo mom. Furthermore, she's rolling with hot dudes but isn't connected with them at all. Maybe the whole lot of them are en route to Maury for a paternity test? Is that an adequate editorial narrative? Tyra wants Sophie to have more space between her one arm and her body, which I'm sure would have made her look twenty times less pregnant in her voluminous gown. Next up is Eboni. Nigel says that her photo is stunning. Miss J. points out her one wonky eye, and notes that he has one too. He tells her to play in the mirror for a while. Tyra says that Eboni reminds her of a thirteen year old girl who is trying to possess a sexuality that she's not yet ready for. Eboni's blessing and her curse is her baby face. She basically needs to get over it and stop trying to look like a prostitute.