Episode Report Card Deborah: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "The Lamps Are Different, But The Light Is The Same"
By Deborah | Season 2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.23.2004
Lischak's class, only this year, it's physics (same seating plan as chemistry), and man, is she wired. She's also much blonder. She begins her speech: "Physics…my little anthropic coincidences…is everything." She starts prowling and grooving and rhapsodizing around the room with her pointer. "Particles, matter, antimatter, energy, fission, fusion, neurons, bozons, quarks, neutrinos, antineutrinos, dimensions, determinism, strong force, weak force, relativity, velocity, chaos, order, air, fire, water, love, sex, death, time, space and God!" You know, I realize network TV's been getting less uptight all the time, but I think Lischak might have to rein it in, because I really don't think CBS is going to let her have an orgasm in front of her class full of sixteen- and seventeen-year-olds. Joan's slightly rattled by the word "God." Also: Bozons? Excellent. That might even be a shout-out to Frink. Friedman's question: "Will the final be comprehensive?" Ms. Lischak purrs, "Oh, this class is going to wow your boxers off, Mr. Friedman, so don't you worry about the final." Uh…huh. I'd better not be seeing anything more on the boxerless Friedman front. Also: bucking for a sexual misconduct or harassment lawsuit, much? Luke keeps glancing around at Grace, who regards him with her customary hostility, saying to Joan, "Tell your brother to stop looking at me." Joan, to her credit, tells Grace, "We're not doing this again this year, okay? You tell him." Grace lets go of the elastic she's playing with and it accidentally -- I believe -- hits Glynis (who's gone back to her old "style" of dressing, if we may call it that, but has slightly less dorky hair). Glynis snaps at Luke, "Is it necessary for your soul mate to assault me?" Luke: "She's not my soul mate. We don't even talk. We hate each other, in fact." Talk about protesting too much. Glynis replies: "I've seen the way you look at her. You're all about her." Luke denies it. Friedman: "This is like arguing about Superman's pee or something. She likes the other equipment, dude." That merits him an elastic from Grace. Superman's…pee?
Adam asks Joan to meet him on the roof after school, but Joan says she has to work. Adam says he thought she quit the bookstore, but Joan explains Dr. Dan -- who I think I hate on principle, since I hate most doctors who style themselves Dr. [FirstnameOnly] -- thought it would be good for her to keep busy. I reserve the right to not hate him if he turns out to be a cast member and is played by John Corbett or Paul Rudd or somebody. Adam: "You know, Dr. Dan might not always be the final authority." Joan hushes him, saying that Lischak is glaring. We see the teacher, who doesn't appear to be glaring so much as trying to ascertain which of the five cutest boys in the class can be trusted to keep his mouth shut about a teacher-student affair. Joan pretends to be paying attention to the class as Adam tries to share with her a list he's made of people throughout history who started having holy visions. Joan whispers, "What do you want from me?" Adam: "I'm just saying you're not the only one." Joan: "Adam: six weeks of crafts and writing down my dreams and crying in front of strangers and…being grilled by someone named Dr. Dan. You're asking me to undo that? I can't go back there! I just want to be a normal couple again, you know? You remember normal?" Adam, wearily: "Not really."