Episode Report Card Deborah: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "The Lamps Are Different, But The Light Is The Same"
By Deborah | Season 2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.23.2004
Grace and Luke are in their make-out spot -- making out -- when Grace says they have to pick another spot: "There's a security guard that drives around." Luke: "He's gonna tell the kids at school?" Grace says he could know people there. Luke: "You are so hyper-vigilant." Grace: "Oh, don't use big words. Maybe we should just call this whole thing off. Friedman is so obviously aware. Have you said anything?" Could Friedman be any less "aware"? Could she be any more paranoid? Luke insists he doesn't say anything to anyone, adding, "But, you know…the sexual tension…people are gonna start to pick up on it." Grace: "Did you just use 'sex' in a sentence?" Luke: "Did I? I'm sorry. My mistake." Luckily for him, Oliver Wendell Polk, Jr. is distracted by something: "Dude, there's your mother again!" As Luke puts on his glasses, Grace adds: "Is she, like, a drug dealer?" Luke: "I have no idea." Ha! They watch Helen and Father Ken (in civvies) go into Mocha Mike's.
Helen and Father Ken walk over to a prime table by the window. Frink: "No way they got that seat." Helen complains that "Sister Lily" was rude to her. Father Ken reminds her: "Former Sister Lily." Which might not have been her name, if they still make nuns take new names in the convent. Do they still do that? Maybe that went out with Vatican II. Frink: "And those coffee cups are not funky enough." Father Ken adds, "She was rude?" Helen: "Yes. And she was off-putting." Father Ken: "She was off-putting?" Helen: "Why are you repeating everything I say?" Father Ken confesses: "Reruns of West Wing." Oh, the roaring that emanated from our couch! A shout-out to me and a burn for that show in one line? That rules. This show rules. Barbara Hall rules. Helen goes on to complain, in her most schoolmarmish tone, "Plus she was smoking. Yes, smoking. Which does not seem very nun-like." I guess that depends on which nuns you hang with. (And don't miss this page.) Helen sure can bring the prim when she wants to. The priest reminds her one more time that Lily is a former nun, and wonders if Helen is tattling on her. Helen admits, "I don't like her. Am I going to hell?" Father Ken points out that confirmation is a long process, and maybe she's not ready to choose the Catholic faith. Helen says, "I had these dreams, and I was suddenly aware that God is real, and I have been ignoring him." Man, Helen, if you're that clear, what's the problem? Jump in. She adds that she doesn't think God's going to be too pleased with Father Ken if he discourages her. Father Ken, who's clearly managed to get the upper hand in this relationship -- a far cry from the buttonholed, beleaguered solicitor of charity we met a year ago -- teases her about threatening a priest. Helen bemoans that things were simple when she used to go to church: God likes it when you're good and doesn't like it when you're bad. Father Ken wonders if she believes she's being punished for bad behaviour with things like Kevin's paralysis and Joan's illness. Helen doesn't say anything, but you can tell that's what she feels. Father Ken: "That's…quite vain." Helen's hurt: "You are not…being very nice." He insists God simply doesn't work that way. She asks how he knows. Father Ken: "Because if he did, I'd be working for some big cosmic jerk and I'd have to find another job." I like the way he glances ever-so-briefly heavenward, as if he's slightly worried about being struck down. Helen says nothing, so he adds, "You must think he's kind of a jerk, too -- which is why you can't bring him home." Oh, a direct hit. You sunk her battleship!
Joan, Adam, Grace, Luke, and Friedman are walking through the halls at school as Joan comments that physics is cool and she thinks she's going to like it a lot better than chemistry. She rambles, "Particles. Wow. It's fission and fusion…especially now that I understand light! Well…lamps." Hee. Grace tells her she's babbling. Friedman: "A pastime of the mentally impaired." I'm not sure whether he means making fugly lamps, or babbling. Grace and Joan both smack him on the head -- hard. That's always a shout-out. He barks, "Guys, hands off Friedman! This year, okay? Please!" Glynis comes running up behind them and starts walking along, announcing breathlessly, "I am so psyched about quantum chromodynamics!" Joan chimes in, "I know. It is kinda hot!" Adam looks disturbed: "Jane, you can't get all happy about science. It's totally gonna mess up our dynamic." She says she's just trying to take a new approach to school: "You know: optimism!" Grace: "Well, keep it to yourself." Glynis makes a sneering face at Grace when she says this, but Grace doesn't catch it. Watch your tape closely, you'll see it. Luke walks at the back of the gaggle, listening and watching Grace and glancing at Glynis. Adam says he might have to drop the class because his job doesn't leave him much time to study. Joan says he can't drop physics. He tells her he's only taking it because of her: "And if you're going to be all weird about it…" Gotta love this show: a boy taking physics because of a girl he likes. She insists she's not being weird, she's being optimistic. Grace barks: "You guys are doing the pukey couple thing!" Glynis leaps into the breach to inform Grace, "The love of science is a bonding experience. Like the Curies, or Voltaire and his mistress." Tell her all about it, girlie. She built a rail gun with Rocket Boy. Grace: "Nobody's talking about bonding." Friedman brings his unique perspective to the proceedings: "Listen, guys, all I know is that physics gets Lischak even hotter than chemistry ever could, and that totally works for me. Hey, Grace? I'm betting it works for you, too." Grace: "Spend your summer at the trough, did you, Friedman?" He taunts: "At least the Friedman knows which flavour he likes." Ugh. Luke can't take it anymore: he grabs Friedman's sleeve in a protective fit and tells him to back off. The tension instantly ratchets up as Friedman looks surprised and Grace bristles, trying not to reveal how pissed off she is. Luke realizes his error and bolts off. Maybe he'll be doing that this year, instead of Glynis. No one really knows what to say, and as Joan stands there bewildered, she notices a familiar spiky 'do glide by: it's Goth God. Or at least, a kid who looks a lot like him…we only see him from the back. Same kind of getup: plaid pants, big boots, black leather jacket. Joan stares. Adam asks if she's okay. Joan: "I'm fine! I'm great! I'm optimistic. I'll meet you at the park later." She bolts, too. Friedman takes the opportunity to do the "nuts" gesture, twirling his finger by his temple: "Cuckoo! Cuckoo!" Grace, Adam, and Glynis all give him a shove or a smack.
Will has a meeting with a lawyer in a wood-paneled office. As he so often must, he plays Exposition Fairy: "Andy Baker was drunk…veered into oncoming traffic…flipped the car…walked away without a scratch." He explains that after Kevin's paralysis was confirmed, lawyers approached them, but Helen didn't want to proceed with a lawsuit; she didn't want to punish a kid for being stupid. Will says they certainly could have used the money, with all the medical expenses. He says, "Almost three years later, they're claiming emotional damages? I know they can't win, but it's just the idea of it." The lawyer, looking over the documents, asks, "Will, um…Kevin called you on the phone before he left the party that night?" Will says he always checked in. Lawyer: "And he told you that his friend Andy was drunk?" Will: "Drinking." Lawyer: "Kevin was not drunk, but he let Andy drive anyway?" Will says Kevin tried to take Andy's keys away. Seeing the expression on the lawyer's face, Will gets concerned: "Hey! Hey…my son was paralyzed! They're going to talk to me about emotional damages? They really want to take me on about that? Their son walked away without a scratch! What kind of people act like this?" Frink and I can't get the word out fast enough: "Americans." The lawyer states, "Money's a powerful force." Will says there's no way they can win. The lawyer says they'll give it everything they've got. He asks that Will and Helen write down everything they can remember about Kevin's friendship with Andy and that night in particular. Will: "Tom…I cannot take this to my wife."