Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Things Fall Apart
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 23 | Aired on 05.22.2005
Bitchelle is on the phone, throwing everything with a pulse at the Naked Arms. We can hear her telling someone to bump up the clearances of people who aren't even authorized for field work. I assume that by that she means people besides Kiefer and Soul Patch. Meanwhile, Buchanan is wrapping things up with LAPD. Once they're both off their phones, Bitchelle is disgusted to hear that LAPD is only sending nine guys over to the Naked Arms. Buchanan is working on other options, but that's not good enough for Bitchelle: "When? We need people there now. This woman has to be captured." She starts to stomp off, but Buchanan stops her and gently says, "Everyone understands what's at stake here. We're going to do our best to find this woman, but we have to remain calm. Or everything will spiral out of control." I don't know, I'd say that already happened about halfway through the season. Just like every other season of this show. Bitchelle gets a hold of herself and admits that she's not being objective. Buchanan reminds her, "The big picture is that we have to apprehend this hostile. Alive. Nothing else matters." Bitchelle looks like she could think of a thing or two that might, but she holds her peace.
At the moment, the hostile in question is busy surfing the web in a vacant apartment. Because what's the first thing you do when you take someone hostage? You Google him. She's already gotten some useful information -- specifically, an online news article relating to the denouement of Soul Patch's arc from the previous season. I'd assume she's reading my last few recaps from last year, but those don't come with photos. In this case, there's a shot of Season Three Soul Patch getting led out of CTU by burly agents, as well as one of Season Three Bitchelle that might as well be captioned "Why he did it" so that horny male and lesbian web surfers everywhere can start looking for terrorists of their own to aid and abet. Inspiring horny female and gay viewers everywhere to do the same, Soul Patch is kneeling shirtless and gagged nearby, with his hands cuffed behind him and a plastic tie around his ankles. Naked Mandy's cell phone rings at 5:04:44, and she and her leg holster wander into the apartment's kitchen to answer it. It's one of those open floor plans that basically make all the common areas one big room, though, so that Soul Patch can clearly hear her when she answers, "What is it, ImhoTerror?"
ImhoTerror, whose long-neglected arm wound is being injected by a minion with a syringe (might want to flake off a few square inches of that dried blood first, there, Sawbones), tells Naked Mandy she's late. Mandy says she ran into a "hitch" that she's taking care of. If by "hitch" she means the fact that she's totally surrounded and had to kill her accomplice. ImhoTerror says that he's leaving in one hour and he's not waiting for her. She promises she'll be there, and hangs up. She cocks her gun for some unclear reason (to remind us that she has one? I hadn't forgotten, what with her having a hostage and all), then walks across the apartment to peer through the vertical blinds at all the law enforcement activity going on outside. Never mind the fact that she's silhouetting herself in a lit window; the glare from the Manson lamps she's pointing down there should be giving her away instantly. She crosses the apartment again and tells Soul Patch, "They're very close to finding us and that would…"