Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Things Fall Apart
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 23 | Aired on 05.22.2005
Its 5:56:16 as Kiefer tells Curtis to get Palmer on the line to make a deal. Mandy is regaining consciousness. That was a pretty short nap, but it's still enough to make Kiefer insanely jealous; as the agents hovering over her pull her to her feet, Kiefer marches up to her, grabs her by the throat, and pushes her back against the nearest parked car. "Where is ImhoTerror?" he demands. She doesn't speak. "That's what I thought," Kiefer says. He tries to establish a rapport: "We're both professionals. You know that I can force this information out of you, but I'm running out of time. We don't get second chances in our line of work, but I'm going to give you one." He offers her a deal signed by the POTUS, giving her full immunity from past and present crimes. In exchange, she has to help him find ImhoTerror and the missile. She doesn't answer. He repeats the question. She doesn't answer again. Jeez, dude, she's only been awake for like twenty seconds. I can barely remember I wear glasses when I've been awake for twenty seconds. He puts his gun in her face and says, "You are either gonna help me now, or I will kill you." Whoops, there went the rapport. I think he's overplaying his hand, but she finally grits out, "Show me the deal."
Poor Agent Burn is sitting strapped to a chair in a darkened warehouse somewhere. A bright light is shining on him, his wrists are tied together with rope, angry people are speaking Chinese in the shadows, and his hair's a mess. A Chinese henchman holds out the photo of Burn from the security camera in the Consulate. I wish Burn would say, "What, do all of us Caucasians look alike to you or something?" But he doesn't. The Consulate Cop repeats his accusations, and demands to know who led the mission. Agent Burn is still not cooperating. Consulate Cop says all Burn has to do is make a statement and he'll be released. Burn says they'll have to release him anyway once CTU realizes what's happened. Consulate Cop sets Burn straight on that: "No one will ever know. No one will ever tell them." Not even the unconscious agents he jacked the CTUmobile from? Burn asks what Consulate Cop is talking about. Consulate Cop has a whole plan figured out for Burn: A Chinese container ship is moored at the port, and if Burn doesn't cooperate, he'll be put on board this slow boat to China, then transported to a maximum security labor camp on the border with Siberia. "You wouldn't do that," says Burn nervously. Consulate Cop insists, "We want justice." And if Burn won't say who is responsible for the Consul's death, "that leaves you." Consulate Cop goes on to say that Burn's family won't be notified, and neither will the U.S. government. Which means no chance for prisoner exchange or escape. "For the rest of your life," Consulate Cop finishes. Okay, yeah, that would suck. I don't know that I would take the fall for this if it meant getting permanently disappeared by a foreign government without my wife and son ever knowing what happened to me. Which is why I quit Black Ops in the first place. Burn gets himself a little splitscreen window to ponder that for a second, while other windows show Soul Patch and Bitchelle looking soulful, Mandy looking busted, and Curtis looking nervous.
Consulate Cop says, "Decide, Mr. Burn. The China Queen is on a tight schedule." Burn is shaking his head, but he's obviously wavering. All Consulate Cop wants is a name and a recorded statement. "Then what happens?" says Burn. "You will walk right out of that door," says Consulate Cop. "I meant to him," Burn says, as if it matters at this point. "As I said," Consulate Cop repeats, "all we want is justice." Burn says, "His name…" I hope for a moment that he's going to name ImhoTerror. But instead we get a tight close-up on his lips saying, "…is Jack Bauer." Whoa, Kiefer was in on that? Holy crap! It's 6:00:00. Interesting how the Chinese are better at getting information without torture than we are with it, hmm?