Episode Report Card Demian: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Importance Of Being A Deranged Serial Killer
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.11.2003
Casa Del Cole. K'Feebs flares into the living room and stands above the unconscious Phoebe, murmuring dark threats. Cole unexpectedly smears in behind her and demands to know why she returned without his permission. K'Feebs thinks fast and reveals that Piper's aware of the demonic reorganization. Cole darkly reminds K'Feebs that he never asked her to report to him, and orders her back to the Manor. When the time comes, he tells her, she's to insist that Piper visit the bail bondsman. "Fine, Bossy Boots," K'Feebs pouts. "Whatever gets you off." Too. Much. Information. After K'Feebs flares out, Cole hoists Phoebe from the floor to place her gently on the four-poster in the adjoining room. Hey, Alyssa! Don't know if anyone's ever told you this, but unconscious people don't move. So this bit here? Where you kick up your legs and twist your torso and fling your arms around Julian's neck as he picks you up off the carpet? Yeah. You fucked up. Cole plants a tentative kiss on Phoebe's lips and smears out as soon as he realizes that she's waking up. Phoebe groans and stretches and wonders how the hell she got into the bed.
Bimbo Boudoir. Piper pounds on the locked door until K'Feebs finally opens it with an apology. Why didn't K'Feebs answer sooner? She was listening to her Walkman. Why did she lock the door in the first place? D'oh! Fortunately for K'Feebs, the Dolt arrives with the news that Raige's situation "just got a whole lot worse."
The Clink. Raige huddles mournfully on her cot, the blanket hiked up to her chin. Darryl announces that the doctors believe the other woman from the slow-motion pre-credits fender bender had a blood clot in her brain. Yes, Darryl, she did have a blood clot. A blood clot FROM HELL. Raige chokes on some anguished self-recrimination as tears flow down her cheeks. Darryl offers some additional bad news -- the charges Raige faces now include "vehicular homicide," and her bail has been set at fifty thousand dollars. K'Feebs darts her eyes around and too-perkily suggests that they head to the bail bondsman. Darryl opines that a bondsman will require "some pretty hefty collateral." Or not, "Lieutenant" Morris. As many have pointed out on the boards, a bond of five thousand dollars should free Raige until her court date, so either the Grand Cherokee or Phoebe's new sports car would suffice. Whatever. The crackheads in charge are hell-bent on having Piper hock the Manor, so off she and K'Feebs go to the bondsman with the "grant deed" in their hot little hands. The lumpen bondsman assumes possession of said deed, and passes a receipt to K'Feebs. "Hold on to it," he stresses. Piper sighs all put-upon as she turns to leave. K'Feebs follows, but lingers at the door to turn and smile. The bondsman eyes her impassively, waits until she, too, is gone, and then morphs into Cole. Cole stuffs the deed into his jacket pocket and snickers.