Episode Report Card Demian: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Importance Of Being A Deranged Serial Killer
By Demian | Season 5 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.11.2003
A jarring and superfluous DemonCam On Crack shoots us down a commercial street before dumping us in the Manor's front hall. I immediately notice that the lighting's a bit darker and edging towards saturated reds and blues. How lovely. And how demonic, apparently. Our two intrepid heroines orb in with K'Feebs. The Dolt's there, too, if anyone cares. No sooner is the orb complete than Piper pederants towards the kitchen, nattering something about sleeping better once she knows Cole's lair has been destroyed. Raige and the Dolt, meanwhile, glance into the parlor and gawp. You'd gawp too, I suppose, if you arrived home to find The Mullet Defense League lounging uninvited in your living room. "Piper?" Raige blurts. "We've got a bit of a situation in here." "I knew I forgot something," Cole sneers suddenly from the landing. "My mother always warned me about protecting my house from orbing," he continues as he steps down into the hall. Cole's swapped his pearl-grey lawyering suit for a black wool overcoat with matching turtleneck and pants. "Your house?" Piper howls. Yep -- Cole has the deed. But the Ps have the receipt! K'Feebs slinks over to Cole and morphs into K'Amaya. Piper, Raige, and the Dolt gape photogenically. That demonic lighting scheme has, in fact, taken years off the Dolt's face. There's a joke in there about the lighting in gay bars, but Murphy Brown made it ten years ago, so let's keep this moving, shall we? Cole takes a moment to let the betrayal sink in, then pushes a mojo-laden fist in the trio's direction. The Ps plus the Dolt super-speed backwards through the front door, Kent-style. Within the Manor, Cole wiggles his fingers, and the front doors ease shut before flaring up with an orange force field. Piper, Raige, and the Dolt stand in stunned silence on the front porch as the oncoming commercial break overwhelms them.
And we're back. K'Amaya boobs into the kitchen behind Cole, simpering, "I don't even get a thank-you kiss?" "Thank-you kiss"? That's...not a terribly amusing euphemism for fellatio at all. Cole whatevers that K'Amaya will be well-paid for her services, but she must leave the Manor. K'Amaya frowns, then morphs into K'Feebs. "Is this what a girl has to do to get a little attention around here?" she asks, twirling her hair. Now, here's what bugs me. They went through all that trouble to establish that hair-futzing is K'Amaya's "tell," and no one -- not Piper, not Raige, not the Dolt -- called her on it. Ever. Explain to me the tic's purpose? Anyone? Come on, there has to be an answer out there somewhere. Oh, fine -- you can keep your rotten secrets! See if I care. Cole's had enough, and threatens to smack K'Feebs in the tits with a Flaming Ball Of Death should she not make herself scarce. He glowers, then disappears into the basement. "Maybe I'll just make her scarce," K'Feebs trills before she flares out.