Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT True South
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.23.2011
ASIDE
Eli: "Apparently you are close to giving the keynote at the Democratic Convention. Thank God gay people's civil rights are such a convenient football for everybody else to kick around all the fucking time. Being a meaningless pawn is such a sexy, luxurious feeling. Anyway, I'm going to talk with Donna Brazile, who is a real person in real life. I'm not saying you need to decide about governor -- which, um, any time now would be fine -- just go to the meeting with them, and talk about how you were in prison a lot."
Peter: "My very favorite thing to talk about. Um..."
Eli: "Oh God, what."
Peter: "You might hear about a plea bargain that I'm about to do. Kind of tarnishes my name and the name of the office, and will desperately need spinning, but it's for a good cause. Several, actually."
Eli: "How about you just delay it until you get the speech?"
Peter: "Can't. It's now or never, and ethically I have to do it."
Eli: "Whatever, try to keep it quiet but otherwise go for it and heeeeey, what's your deal with Kalinda Sharma and why won't she work for me on your behalf?"
Peter: "What? Who? Nothing. Who? When? Donkey balls. Space program. Who?"
Eli: "Mmkay."
GOOD WILL "PHONING"
Alicia has just said something and we'll never know what it was so we'll never know if he's lying:
Will: "...Really? I didn't know that. Is she good?"
Alicia: "Caitlin is fine. I don't overidentify with her in a self-aggrandizing way, but she's a cool customer. And David Lee is bugging me about it, so that makes me want to do something to piss him off. But there's just something about Martha that reflects so well on me, in my own estimation."
Will: "You know what they say. A students make great professors, B students make great judges, and C students make partner."
(Tiger Mother: "First prize is a set of steak knives. Second prize is, you're fired.")
Grace: "Moooooooooooommmmmmmm"
Alicia: "God. What."
Grace: "My tutor just robotically left as soon as we were done studying, and didn't take a bath with me and braid my hair and clip my toenails and tuck me in like usual. What have you done."
Alicia: "I just told her to be a tutor."
Grace: "That's what she did. She taught me a great deal, and continued to improve my grades, and excited me about learning in new ways. It was awful. You are a monster."
Alicia: "She is fuckin' 22 years old! Why is everybody up my ass today?"
Grace: "On her driver's license it might say she's 22. But in the ways that count, she is a dorky fourteen-year-old who is lost in the world, same as me."
Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23Next