Episode Report Card Gustave: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Through the roof!
By Gustave | Season 2 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.05.2003
Meanwhile, back at "A Beautiful Loft," a minimalist modern classical piano piece plays -- the kind of thing that would be in an episode of Six Feet Under or an investment banking commercial. Hewitt puts together his ransacked Whatever Technology and demonstrates for Kiefer and Lady Mac how he put together the Cyprus recordings; he can make a similar recording that will "blow their minds" at CTU. "And then I'm free to leave, right?" says Hewitt. Kiefer and Lady Mac make eye contact. "Yes, you'll be fine," says Kiefer in an uncharacteristically non-velvety tone. Hewitt starts to freak out. "How come you're both being nice to me all of a sudden?" he asks Kiefer. "You guys are going to screw me, aren't you?" Hewitt refuses to cooperate further without an immunity deal in writing. Lady Mac, who is listening, asks Kiefer to arrange for federal counsel to meet them at CTU so that they can get the details out of the way. Kiefer argues that there's no time for any of that. He'll help Hewitt, but only after he helps Kiefer disprove the Cyprus audio. Hewitt asks if he can speak to Kiefer alone. Lady Mac defensively insists that she's taken care of everything. "Then what are you scared of?" asks Hewitt. Lady Mac leaves the room. Uh, is it really a good idea to let her out of Kiefer's sight? Hewitt asks Kiefer if Lady Mac is "trying to screw [him] or not." Kiefer assures him that no, Lady Mac has Hewitt's best interests at heart. "Because she thinks I'm innocent?" says Hewitt. Kiefer affirms this. "I also think she likes me," says Hewitt. Kiefer smiles grimly. "I think she does," he says, velvetlessly. The time is 05:34:43 AM.
The time is 05:39:08 AM. Klockwise from the top left, Kiefer watches Hewitt assemble a sample audio file, Palmer raps with Agent Pierce some more, and Chappelle walks the catwalks of CTU with a snitty look on his face. Meanwhile, remember NoDaddyNo Manor? Well, it's back. Or rather, Spawn's back there to get her things. A police office escorts her to the door and says, "Take your time, I'll be waiting in the car." Okay, he's not a handsome black guy, but we all know where this is going, right? Spawn enters NDN Manor and reflects on the photos of JonBenet and her dead bloody blonde mom while The Dysfunctional Family Waltz plays softly in the background. Spawn runs up the stairs to her bedroom.
Okay, you know how in every "office movie," there's always that scene where the lead character gets sacked from their pathetic job and they're at their desk packing and all of his or her beloved co-workers have pitched in with an envelope full of cash "to get drunk with"? Well, this is just like that, only it's just Soul Patch and Bitchelle, and no cash is involved. Bitchelle bewails the injustice of Chappelle sacking Soul Patch. Soul Patch tries to shrug it off. The phone rings, but Soul Patch doesn't answer it until Bitchelle points out that it's the Whatever Super-Important Phone Line. It's Palmer, wanting to get in touch with Kiefer. Soul Patch patches him through. Palmer tells Kiefer about the whole palace coup thing. Kiefer gives Palmer a sympathy velvet sigh and informs him about how he has Hewitt in custody. Oh, and one more thing? Lady Mac is there. "Don't trust her," warns Palmer. He asks to speak to his ex-wife. Kiefer hands over the phone, and Palmer asks her what she's doing there with Kiefer. Then they get into a discussion about "the truth," which I don't really pay much attention to because Palmer and Lady Mac have about 90 percent less chemistry than Kiefer and Lady Mac. Kiefer gets back on the phone, and Palmer reminds him how important it is to get Hewitt to testify immediately. Kiefer gets back on the line with Soul Patch and asks him again for a chopper. Soul Patch, who is still having his 9 to 5 meets Working Girl pity party with Bitchelle, promises him a chopper soon -- neglecting to mention, of course, that he doesn't have a job anymore, let alone access to the company chopper. "I'm going to need your help," says Soul Patch to Bitchelle. They both look down at Chappelle.