Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 12 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Will v. Grace
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 14 | Aired on 01.30.2012
UPSTAIRS
Elsbeth: "David Lee, you gotta smile. You're hostile and mean and awful, right? So don't make the Grand Jurors think you're how you are."
David Lee: "How creepy it would be, if I smiled and acted nice."
Elsbeth: "Hi Will, hi Kalinda. Can you guys tell me why we're suddenly getting grilled about that one specific case we were worried about? Because they seem to be very familiar with that case, like somebody was talking to them or maybe like some spurned bisexual lady was slipping information to her fake girlfriend or something so that her best friend would stop hating her?"
Kalinda: "Yeah, that sounds like something an asshole might do. I will get to the bottom of this, mark my words."
Elsbeth: "Kalinda's great!"
Will: "Sometimes."
GOLD & ASSOC
Eli: "Caitlin, keep running around so you stay out of my hair while I fight with Alicia about you."
Alicia: "Eli, are you running Caitlin around on shitty errands instead of using her, in order to act out because I hurt your feelings?"
Eli: "I am sometimes the Tracy Jordan."
Alicia, verbatim: "So who are we acting out against, Eli?"
(Nailed it! I love when that happens. I have a little Elsbeth going, I think.)
Alicia: "Are we mad at David Lee? He's pretty awful. Mad at me? The very concept of a first-year associate?"
Eli: "All of those!"
Alicia: "So get a paralegal."
Eli: "I prefer to use Caitlin in that pursuit. Now let's talk about your 'tude."
Alicia, bouncing hilariously: "Later, Eli."
Eli: "-- Alicia, I am your superior. And you are treating me the way you did when I was Peter's campaign advisor. Like an equal. And that is incorrect -- operating off wrong, outdated information -- and I think we need to reevaluate our working relationship."
Alicia, flipping the script: "Eli, you are so right. What do you need from me?"
Eli, taken aback: "...Um, I need you to help me impress Spencer Roth, head of GLAC."
Alicia: "Sure thing! Let's get started."
Holy hell, she is the best. Just the best fucking person on earth. Normally when you talk about Bad-Ass you're talking about Kalinda or whatever, but that was the most bad-ass thing. That's so Alicia. Nice As A Weapon is the spectrum that can take you to Wendy Scott-Carr, but add Completely Reasonable and you'll win every time.