Episode Report Card Keckler: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Fist Fight
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 24 | Aired on 05.13.2003
The little boys ruin a lot of bar property in this schoolyard fight. Trip hangs out by the bar. Ruby ineffectually yells, "That's enough!" Oh, just turn a hose on them already. Ruby pokes Trip and tells him to "do something." Like what? Technobabble them to peace? Trip steps over and holds Quantum's arms back as two other random officers do the same for A.G. "You think this is going to get either one of you closer to warp five?" Ruby demands. Out of the mouths of clued-in bar wenches. A.G. and Quantum bleed and gasp at one another. Ruby throws down her bar rag in irritation.
T'Pol's out of control. Like Tony Danza's daughter in that movie that no one else saw but me and my sleepover in 1989.
Shuttle Pod of Present Day. "The fight was interrupted?" T'Pol asks. "Not before I got two bruised ribs and a cracked molar," Quantum says. Oh, poor baby -- you got hurt in a fight you instigated yourself. I take back everything I ever said about you. NOT! T'Pol supposes they'll never know. Quantum just looks at her. "Who would've won," T'Pol clarifies. What an odd thing to say. Is she trying to be funny? Some alarms go off, and Quantum thinks they must be getting close to his emotional baggage claim in the form of the dark matter thingamabob. Quantum and T'Pol argue over whether or not the blips that set off the alarms and the fluctuation of the sh'pod's power have anything to do with the B-plot. However, it gives Quantum reason -- as if he needed prompting -- to babble, "One thing I learned from A.G. -- you're never going to get anywhere without taking risks." I thought he learned that from his Sepia-Toned Father when he told him not to be afraid of breaking wind or something. T'Pol comments that Quantum admired the man who cracked his molar and bruised his ribs. "Humans can have funny ways of forming friendships," Quantum laughs, before musing that A.G. would have loved outer space and it's too bad he never got to see it, seeing as how he earned it. ["I think it was right around that line that Chuck Yeager finally threw up his hands and filed a copyright infringement lawsuit." -- Sars] Unsurprisingly, T'Pol's confused, since Quantum said that A.G. was responsible for nearly ending the space program. "He was also responsible for getting it back on course. With a little help from me and Trip," Quantum tells her.
Flashback. A bruised A.G. packs up his stuff. A bruised Quantum walks in. A.G. kicks a plastic bin over to Quantum and invites him to get packing as well. Quantum's not ready to give it up yet, and says he's been thinking about what A.G. said about his father's engine the night before. A.G. starts to say that he was out of line, but Quantum stops him and says he was right, and that he hasn't been objective about this whole thing. Quantum's been doing some studying -- burning the midnight oil that A.G. was so derisive about in his first scene -- and thinks he figured out a way to fix the technobabble. A.G. argues a bit about whether anyone will even listen to them, but Quantum is of the firm belief that they can talk the Commodore to death. Quantum even throws A.G.'s risk-taking babbleage back at him and asks what they've got to lose. A.G. talks Quantum into shoplifting the NX-Beta. "You want to talk about taking risks?" A.G. asks. "You're a great pilot -- maybe even as good as me. But you're never going to get out into deep space by playing it safe. When the first warp five Starship is built, its captain won't be able to call home every time he [or SHE!] needs to make a decision. He won't be able to turn to the Vulcans. Unless he decides to take one with him." The anvil of As What? His Science Officer?! Surely You Jest! is whining to be let out of its room.
Sh'pod of Present Day. More B-plot inconsequentials. T'Pol comments that she never read nothin' in the Vulcan database about stealin' no warp vessels. Quantum says that it wasn't something Starfleet wanted spread across the front page of every newspaper in town. Of course not; taxpayers might be a little annoyed at your abuse of their hard-earned money. T'Pol doesn't say anything. "Don't you believe me?" Quantum asks. Why don't you tell her more of the story in order to prove it? "I have no doubt that it happened, though I find it difficult to believe you had to be convinced to participate," T'Pol tells him. "You didn't know me then. I was a little more by-the-book," Quantum sniffs. No, really? Quantum and T'Pol try illuminating the dark matter nebula again, but as there are still eighteen minutes left and Quantum himself hasn't reached full illumination, their test fails. "We still have two more charges left, let's keep looking," Quantum furrows. T'Pol bounces in her seat, eager to hear more of the test flight story.