Episode Report Card Keckler: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Fist Fight
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 24 | Aired on 05.13.2003
A.G. walks into the 602 Club and orders a bourbon, straight up. See, that "straight up" also shows what a fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants-with-his-hair-on-fire kind of guy he is. Unless it shows that he's going to love me forever, or if I'm just caught in a hit and run. Unasked -- as, by comparison, Forrest was -- A.G. sits himself down with Trip and Quantum (Forrest has left to do evil elsewhere), and doesn't appear to notice or care about the chilly reception he's getting. "I suppose you heard," Quantum snarls. "This is really going to throw a wrench in my career plans," A.G. says. What an ass -- and we're supposed to be all sorry in the end that he died? Ruby brings A.G his drink and tells the table it's last call: "Anything else?" A.G. throws back his drink and orders another. Because he drinks a lot, he's obviously bad. I should know, I'm downright rotten to my inebriated core. Ruby collects Quantum and Trip's empty glasses to further show that those two goody-goodies aren't ordering any more mind-altering alcoholic bevvies. Trip and Quantum want to know what A.G. told Starfleet and the Vulcans in his debriefing. "What do you think? The subspace field destabilized at warp two-point-two. Primary flight controls failed, resulting in the loss of the vehicle," A.G. says. What about ignoring a direct, albeit evil, order from the Commodore? "Aren'chew forgettin' sumptin'"? Trip wonders. A.G. begs to be enlightened. "The possibility of pilot error," Trip says. A.G. says he's really not interested in Trip's lieutenant opinion. "You should be!" Quantum thunders. Does anyone else think it would be funny to see a remake of The Clash of the Titans in which Bakula plays Zeus? Scratch that -- where Bakula plays Hephaestus? He could forge furrows. He'd work in a Furrow Forge. ["God knows Bakula's acting would fit right in." -- Sars] Quantum blames A.G. for giving the Vulcans the excuse they wanted to shut down their space program. A.G. tells him, "Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, Archer, but [the engine] doesn't work." Trip argues that the engine is fine; they just need more time to play with the intermix. "We need more than time," A.G. says. "I agree. We need a pilot who listens to orders," Quantum snots. The two asses argue (mental image of Jim Carrey talking with his butt cheeks in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective) about just at which address the blame should be laid. "Your father designed a lousy engine," A.G. finishes. Quantum punches him. A.G. lunges for Quantum's throat as Trip grabs Quantum's beer bottle and scurries for safety. I could call Trip a wimp, or I could give him props for realizing that this isn't his argument. Hmm. Yeah, Trip's a wimp.