Episode Report Card Potes: C- | 6 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT An Affair to Forget
By Potes | Season 5 | Episode 6 | Aired on 07.07.2013
Oh NO and then the Gorgas and Wakiles are taking an exotic dance workshop. Melissa is all, "I'm surprisingly good on this pole for having absolutely NO EXPERIENCE on it! Quelle suprise!" while Kathy just refuses to do any of it. As if the whole scenario wasn't extra-double-down grody enough (on top of the inherent grodiness that exists when they are just, like, going to the grocery store or mowing the lawn), Richie intimates that he would very much like to bone Melissa. He sits in a chair with his collar up while Melissa coaxes Kathy into doing her striptease. Kathy's potential Graves disease actually gives her surprisingly effective bedroom eyes. They then talk about what makes a man sexy, which to Kathy's mind includes taking out the trash and washing the dishes. Fair point, men of the world. Richie says that men cheat because their wives don't want to do the fun stuff. He is just racking up the points in this scene. And then Joe is gross for a while, too, what a shocker.
Like a fine non-sexual sorbet, we then transition to Caroline and Albert. They are at a restaurant, where Al orders fish for both of them. Surprise, says Caroline, she hates fish! They have not spent enough time together in their 30-odd years of marriage that he would know that, which is the secret to their success. Or something. Caroline wants to spend the night in the Hoboken apartment, which she sees as a getaway. Or a get-nearer, since it's ten blocks away from Christopher and Albie. Al thinks it's ridiculous, particularly given that there's a room for Lauren. In her signature deadpan way, Caroline says, "Come on. I'm not asking to be jetted all over the world. I'm asking you to enjoy this phase of life with me...before you friggin drop dead on me and all I have is an insurance policy and no memories. Thanks a million." Um, so, right. They then talk about the fact that if Caroline dropped dead, Al would remarry a 22-year-old bimbo right away. So, it's basically inspiration hour all around.
OH GOD and then we cut to Melissa and Joe talking about how much they enjoyed stallion-esque sexytimes with each other the previous night. Melissa says that Joe was like a big black stallion, and he wonders why the words "big black" must be involved. Um, so, right. Caroline, Jacqueline, Chris and the Wakiles show up, since it appears that Melissa is hosting a brunch. Talk turns to Jacqueline's "conversation" with Teresa, and then Rosie arrives. She's late because she got lost -- further evidence of how close she is with the Gorgas and how often they have her over. Rosie is relatively pro-Teresa these days, and definitely pro-retreat. She explains that the retreat is in a castle in the "Adorondike" mountains (stop it, too easy) and Melissa asks if they will have some sort of facilitator/mediator. I recommend Suze Orman, and maybe the contemplative Indigo Girl (Emily, duh). Maybe lightning will hit the castle, and they'll all reflect on how there were nights when the wind was so cold...that it put a thin layer of ice on Melissa's stripper pole. You can never have true empathy until you've walked in the shoes of another. Jacqueline reiterates that she wants no part of it, and has the full support of Caroline on this decision.