Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 56 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Don't Talk Too Loud
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 14 | Aired on 03.16.2014
Alicia: "Yeah, and I'll get Robyn to look into her background..."Cary: "No girl, you will go upstairs and work on your speech. This seems like productive time to you, because you are procrastinating. Think of yourself as the opposite of a drug addict right now. Your brain is going to use every possible excuse and normal behavior to not do this thing you need to do, and it's going to look like real life. So trust me when I say, that is not real. What real is your personal stories, the anecdotes you tell that will add up to an understanding of what your life means."
UPSTAIRS
Alicia sternly tells herself to just start, to "just write anything," and then writes the word "ANYTHING," which is Alicia Florrick's version of a very funny joke.
INTERVIEW #1
Wearing a buttoned collar and a baby-blue jacket, boring mom hair pulled back, Alicia futzed with her ring and waited to speak to the ironically named Lorainne Joy, a hiring partner at this first firm.
Joy: "Mrs. Alicia Florrick, how could I not bring you in for an interview? To stare at you like a monkey in a cage, if nothing else."
Alicia: "Can I just please have a job though?"
Joy: "First I want to concern-troll you about how awful and shameful and terrible your life is!"
Alicia: "Sounds like sympathy, smells like bullshit. Here's my résumé..."
Joy: "Who needs one of those? Just tell me about your life! When did you last practice?"
Alicia: "Technically thirteen years ago? But I like to consider myself a legal consultant for the State's Attorney..."
Joy: "Discussing cases at the dinner table while he was cheating on you? Yeah, I can see why you didn't put that on your résumé. But props for making it a good interview talking point."
Alicia: "Well, I don't know what computers are, so I'm leading with the positive."
Joy: "Here's the thing. Hobbyist goodwifery aside, you are out of practice and don't fit into any culture of any law firm ever. The only position we have open is starting associate, which..."
Alicia: "Which I am fine with."
Joy: "Yeah, we were hoping to fill it with somebody that doesn't have a hundred weird sad problems. A Cary Agos type, from the Ivy League, maybe."
Alicia: "Then why in the fuck am I here?"
Joy: "Everybody hates a rubberneck, but we still all slow down at accidents."
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