Episode Report Card Keckler: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Best. Episode. Ever.
By Keckler | Season 4 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.21.2005
Captain (his emphasis, not mine) Evil Leaper logs that the crew seems okay with the change in command and the ship will have cloaking capability soon. In his evil Ready Room, Evil Leaper strokes a weapon. An actual weapon -- this isn't I Dream of Greenie, people. T'Pevil says the orders Evil Leaper cited earlier appear authentic. "'Appeah'?" Evil Leaper repeats. Yeah, I don't get the weird inflection either. Bakula has it come and go throughout the episode -- it's all breathy or British or something. "All I requiah from you is your loyalty," Evil Leaper says, turning from his Weight of the Evil World Window. "Do I hev it?" T'Pevil intimates that he does. Evil Leaper holds up the strokeable weapon and says it's the self-same gun Cochrane used to kill the First Vulcan. He wonders aloud what would have happened if the humans hadn't attacked and overpowered the "Vulcan invasion force." "Humans might be your slaves instead of the other way around," he finishes. T'Pevil flinches and says she's not a slave. Evil Leaper steps into her face: "You're Vulcan -- nevah fohget thaht." Given his evil breath, I don't think she's likely to do that. T'Pevil thinks they've crossed into Tholian space by now, and Evil Leaper gives her a data disk and orders her to tell him when she finds the warp signature that matches the one on the disk. Evil Leaper informs T'Pevil that, although Reedvil is next in the line of command, he can't follow orders, so Evil Leaper's promoting her to First Officer. When T'Pevil mentions his hatred of Vulcans, Evil Leaper bites out that maybe it's his way of saying "thank you" to the Vulcans for all the technology the humans snatched from them. Without it, the Terran Empire wouldn't be where it is. T'Pevil's dismissed. Evil Leaper puts Cochrane's gun back in its place on his -- or probably Forrest's -- evil wall of weapons.
Evil Leaper apprises May-Evil of his promotion: "Serving as my personal guard will have its privileges -- you'll have your own quarters, better food." More lines. May-Evil will get all his orders from Evil Leaper and only Evil Leaper. May-Evil thanks him and starts to kiss a little evil ass. Evil Leaper stops him, saying, "You've already got the job -- don't talk yourself out of it." Yeah, May-Evil, don't talk. Period. There's a growl from the floor and we pan down to see Camilla crouched on the floor. "Don't mind Porthos," Evil Leaper says. "He hasn't had his dinner yet." Sussman says that they thought about casting a Great Dane as Evil Porthos because he would be a size opposite. In the end, people thought Great Danes didn't get the evil across enough.