Episode Report Card Keckler: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Best. Episode. Ever.
By Keckler | Season 4 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.21.2005
Evil Leaper and Evil Forrest stalk down the red-lit corridor as guards do the chest-banging closed-fist heil salute. Evil Leaper is nattering about an already rejected proposal to go into Tholian space to look for something that would increase their technology and possibly end the war. Forrest sneers that Evil Leaper's a medal-seeking glory hog. Yeah, that's about the size of him. In both universes. Evil Leaper sniffs that his only concern is saving the Empire. Forrest orders him back to his station. Evil Leaper argues. Forrest threatens him with the Agony Booth. Evil Leaper ceases to argue. All the men have black hair in this episode. It's subtle and effective, even if Bakula's hair is a bit on the poofy, Garibaldi side and had me thinking it was a wig.
Forrest works in his quarters as Hoshi saunters in. She's undressed in filmy black lingerie. Climbing onto Forrest's lap, she tuts his nose for doing work in his "sanctuary." I don't think Evil Captains enjoy having their evil noses tutted. She-Ho and Forrest make out. Forrest thinks she's the only one on the ship he doesn't mind giving in to. And getting into. "And probably the only one who doesn't want to slip a knife into your back," She-Ho adds. She observes that the scuttlebutt is that the battle at Tau Ceti (place where Federation defeats the Romulans using the Cochran Deceleration in Kirk's time. It's also the place where Continuity happily wets its pants) went well. Forrest contradicts her that, actually, no, the battle didn't go well at all. He slings back a drink of something in those new and instantly ubiquitous stemless Reidel "O" wine glasses that I despise and says they lost twelve ships, but the crew isn't to know that. "Forget about the war," She-Ho says, leaning in, "this is our time." To have sex.
Forrest strides down the corridor and stops at a turbolift. A guard opens it for him because when you're evil, you don't bother with pushing buttons yourself. Even if the buttons themselves are evil. As the doors open, the button-pushing guard gets immediately shot by Reedvil, who was lying in wait in the turbolift. Forrest starts to make a move towards his weapon, but Evil Leaper shouts, "Don't!" and comes out of hiding with...is that...Mayweather? With an earring? And Eddie Murphy "My Girl Wants to Party All the Time" hair? Sussman called it Arsenio hair, but it's SO not. Arsenio's hair was squared off into a Legoland flattop. May-Evil is definitely rocking the vintage Axel Foley. Forrest tells Evil Leaper he'll hang for this. Evil Leaper ignores him and orders Reedvil to escort Forrest down to the Brig. The Brig of EVIL! I just can't help myself. Everything's funnier tonight. Reedvil would rather escort Forrest to an airlock, but even in the Mirror Universe, Evil Leaper still doesn't have the balls. Oh, I should mention that Reedvil is Major Reedvil, and he and Sergeant May-Evil are both Uh-Ohs with awesome skull Uh-Oh patches on their all black uniforms. Reedvil pauses before shoving at Forrest with his gun and comments, "Still, it would be tragic if there were an accident on the way to the Brig." Evil Leaper throws Reedvil against the bulkhead and threatens to kill him if anything happens to Forrest. I'm sort of bored by Evil Leaper.