Episode Report Card Mr. Sobell: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Abruzzi -- dead!
By Mr. Sobell | Season 2 | Episode 4 | Aired on 09.10.2006
Bellick hustles Nika back over to Michael and Linc: "My daddy always said, 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, and I'll put you in the ground.'" His daddy wasn't really that skilled when it came to turns of phrase. Nevertheless, Bellick's central point is quite clear: "No more games, or I stop the hooker's air. Understand?" Bellick ties Nika up, thanks her for the dance, and turns to leave, before noticing his knife is missing. "You bitch," Bellick snarls. And before he can complete that thought, Linc has said knife pressed up against Bellick's jugular. "Fooled you," Linc says. Indeed, this is getting to be old hat with Michael and Linc and their dealings with Bellick. At this rate of blundering, Bellick is going to challenge the record set by Col. Klink and Sgt. Schultz for most times a TV character gets outwitted by a prisoner in their care.
When we get back from commercial, Geary -- remember him? -- has returned from town with the new tire. "I carried it," he says. "The cons can change it." Then he notices that it's Linc who's there to greet him, Bellick's gun in his hand. And so he utters the line that I think you'll agree is destined to become the rallying cry for a new generation. "Oh. You really suck, Bellick, you know that?" I think it's beginning to dawn on Bellick just how much he sucks, yes. I mean, how many times have Michael and his cohorts tied you up now, Bellick? Twice? Three times? A dozen? Any number greater than one is just embarrassing. As Michael ties Geary up, he expresses his appreciation to Nika for her contributions to outwitting Bellick once again. Bellick does not take this development with much grace and equanimity. "You're as stupid as the prison doc, you know that?" he says to Nika. Michael advises Nika to ignore Bellick, who's just getting started: "He conned her, too, made her think he loved her, and look what she got -- an overdose and a shot at 30 years inside." This is new to Michael, who understandably hasn't had a chance to keep tabs on all the lives he's ruined while he's been on the lam. "What are you talking about?" he demands. Bellick retorts, "Guess you haven't been reading the papers, have you, college boy?" Or the recaps -- not that Sobell is offended at all. "Cops found your girlfriend fish-belly-white gargling her own puke." "Shut up," Michael says quietly. Bellick is rolling now: "What do you care -- as long as she left the door open for you." "Shut up," Michael says again, this time not so quietly. In fact, he kinda screams it. Bellick, showing a rare gift for understatement, chuckles: "Hit a sore spot, didn't I?" Michael hits a sore spot of his own, by kicking Bellick upside the head. Let's take a break for a moment while I hit the replay button on TiVo six or seven times to take in all the Bellick skull-kicking goodness. Gooooooood scene.