Episode Report Card Mr. Sobell: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Abruzzi -- dead!
By Mr. Sobell | Season 2 | Episode 4 | Aired on 09.10.2006
As if to sharpen the pain and sense of lose from Abruzzi's demise, we cut back to the other seedy motel, where Tweener is still unfortunately, tragically, gallingly not dead. Even worse, he's having a heart-to-heart with Debra Jean, who finally reveals the identity of the mystery caller in all those suspicious phone conversations" "My dad's an Air Force colonel. Total Nazi." Wait -- so she was calling Argentina all those times? Man, she must have some huge cell phone bill. "One of those nightmare, over-protective dads," she continues. "Well, I called him, told him I was traveling with you, told him that we were staying in the same hotel room." Tweener has himself a rueful chuckle: "Girl, you gots to learn how to lie. What you thinking?" Debra Jean concedes that she's a terrible liar and continues her tale of woe: "He was mad enough when I told him I was staying in a hotel room with a guy... but when I told him when I was staying in a hotel with a guy that I maybe sort of liked, he lost it." Tweener's all, "Back up to the part about how you maybe sort of like me again?" And the two of them get down to business. Boy, if Tweener was that happy with his first non-prison showering experience, imagine how much he's going to enjoy the non-incarcerated version of sexual intercourse. My revulsion at that thought is trumped only by the nagging suspicion that a meet-up with Debra Jean's Luftwaffe father may well be on the horizon.
Elsewhere, Michael and Nika are saying their goodbyes while Linc averts his eyes. Michael offers to give her a ride into town with Geary's car; Nika correctly points out that previous car rides with the boys have not ended well and says she'll just walk that mile by her lonesome. "We never would have made it this far without you," Michael correctly observes. And after a round of I'd-love-to-go-with-you-No-this-isn't-the-life-for-you-Well-I'm-sad-to-hear-that-but-perhaps-it's-for-the-best, Michael and Nika hug, and Nika and Linc hug... and Nika grabs the pistol that Linc had stashed in the back of his pants. Shocking turn of events? Not really if you subscribe to the Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Exploited in a Complex Prison Escape Plan theory. "I loved you, Michael," Nika cries, gun in hand. "And I thought I was going to get that back, but you just used me." Michael denies this, but it's not as if he has the opportunity to offer much in the way of counter-argument. "I deserve more than this," she continues. "I deserve more than just being the girl that you call when you need something." Linc surmises that Nika is after that $5 million in Utah after all. "I don't care about the money in Utah," she spits. "I don't want any more crime. I turn you in I get $200,000 legal money." As she grabs the phone to call 911, Michael starts for her. Bad idea, according to Nika: "Don't come any closer, or I'll shoot you." Lincoln disagrees -- and has the bullet clip to prove it. Nika looks defeated; Linc looks smug for teaching Michael a valuable lesson about the dangers of trusting other human beings. "Good luck to you," Michael says sadly before he and Linc speed of, leaving Nika at the side of the road. [Arnold Schwarzenegger voice]Consider that a divorce.[/Arnold Schwarzenegger voice]