Episode Report Card M. Giant: B | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Crushed Velvet
By M. Giant | Season 6 | Episode 1 | Aired on January 13, 2007
Someone delivers a bulletin to Karen, and she announces to the room that there's just been another attack in Los Angeles. Twenty-three people are dead so far, including the suicide bomber. On the bright side, the damage from the explosion actually increased the value of the Gehry building. Wayne clenches his jaw, standing nervously and symbolically on the Presidential seal in his office rug. I totally want one of those rugs. He turns to look at an open dossier on his desk, which is about a guy named Hamril Al-Assad. (You won't be surprised to hear that the photo does not depict a towering Aryan.) And now, Tom and Karen actually agree on something, which is that Assad is the guy behind the recent attacks and therefore needs to be taken out. But Tom also advocates contingencies. Wayne insists that Assad needs to be eliminated, period. He flops into the Presidential chair and carps, "God knows we're paying a steep enough price to get him." And what price might you be paying, Wayne? As if we didn't already know. And I'm sorry, but I'm still trying to get past the idea that any America -- even the America of the 24-verse -- would elect Wayne Palmer President. Last year, he couldn't even do better than fourth in a poll consisting only of 24 viewers.
And now we're at CTU, where a couple of familiar faces are at work. One of them is Milo! Season 1 Milo! Milo who disappeared halfway through Season 1 because Eric Balfour got another show and never came back Milo! Except now he's back. As if watching this show isn't like falling through a time warp already. And the other guy is Chloe's ex-husband, Morris O'Brian, who showed up to help Chloe at the end of last season. Looks like he managed to parlay that into a steady gig here at CTU. But it's not going all that well for him, because Milo is giving Morris a hard time about how Morris never puts a cover on his TPS reports or some such. Morris is unintimidated, possibly because he's lost a lot of weight since last season and is feeling cockier than ever. "Do you -- and I'm just curious -- ever open your mouth without sarcasm just spilling out of it?" Milo asks, which is kind of sarcastic of him. He warns Morris to straighten up before he ends up selling women's shoes again. Morris finishes setting up their dynamic for the season: "I liked you fine as an analyst. Actually, you were very good. As a boss? Bit of a boor." As Milo boors off, he runs into Chloe -- looking relatively good this year in a flippy brown hairdo -- and tells her, "Talk to your boyfriend. He's on self-destruct." Chloe heads over to do just that, and presents herself as an example of one who managed to learn some social skills in order to succeed. Uh-huh. Can't wait to see those in action. Morris points out that Chloe also has the advantage of being a "hottie" as he gropes her ass. The charming thing about him is that he actually seems to believe it. As much as she digs the unprofessional flirting, Chloe changes the subject, asking if Morris got a priority request from Homeland Security. She's surprised to find out that she's the only one who did. Before heading off to look into it, she manages to get a promise from Morris to "try to get along." I'm enjoying Morris so far, but how much of an ass do you have to be when Chloe O'Brian is telling you to be nicer?