Episode Report Card Erin: B+ | 114 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Papa, Can You Hear Me?
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 8 | Aired on 2003.11.23
Commercials. X-Men 2 is complete and utter ASS. And I consider the first one a first-rate guilty pleasure, my friends. Good lord, the sequel gives new meaning to the word "assy." It's the assiest asstastic piece of filmmaking I've seen in ages. But holy moly is Hugh Jackman one hot piece o' tuna. In fact, he's so hot, that I almost don't remember the gargantuan turd of a movie surrounding him. Sigh. Talk more, Hugh. Shut up, Halle.
After repeated bouts with Mr. Electroshock, Syd's looking pretty disastrous. Doc Avari assures her that, in a couple of hours, she'll feel almost human again. Somehow I doubt that. As Doc Avari rambles on about how strong Syd's heart is, she eyes a paper clip on some papers nearby and nabs it. Yeah. Because no one's watching on security cameras or anything. Well, unless she's been enjoying her little electroshock sessions for quite some time and everyone watching got bored and went out for hoagies. So, Syd has a paper clip. And no one's the wiser. Maybe she's going to go back to her cell and make one of those fake retainer thingys like I used to make in junior high when everyone else had retainers and I didn't and I was really, really jealous. Because I was a fucking GEEK.
Ahem. Elsewhere in Camp Williams, Head's returning from the Hoagie Hut when Killjoy intercepts him and points out that she was supposed to be observing Syd's interrogation. Head just turns like, oh, you still here? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you'll observe and stuff. Unfortunately, I don't really want you to see how badly we're treating her, so I'm just gonna lie and say that part of the interrogation involves the discussion of classified materials and you're just a low-level plebian so you can't be there. Neener neener. Killjoy smells a rat. A big, six-foot, balding, penis-like, rat. She's all, uh, how can I write about an investigation I'm not even in on? Head's all oh, dude, don't worry! I'll fill you in! Let's go get some Matt's Chocolate Chip Cookies and discuss it in the cafeteria! Killjoy pulls back and apologizes. "I'm sorry, but if I'm going to chronicle our treatment of Sydney Bristow, I need to see how she's being treated." Head just looks at her, all, uh, dude? How was it, do you think, that Sydney Bristow knew to get her shapely little fanny out of the country before she was even aware the NSC wanted to take her into custody, huh? Mebbe you should ask your wrinkly-foreheaded husband, eh? I seriously doubt you want me looking into just who might have aided and abetted our favorite spy girl, huh? Light dawns on yonder Killjoy. She's all, that's why you asked for me, isn't it? You needed a witness and you KNEW I wouldn't force my hand! Head's all, don't you have a report to write? Killjoy just looks like she's going to hurl.